Nope - I didn't make any changes. How much coffee are you drinking?
I agree - you should have the opportunity to pursue the degree and he should understand that. There is no difference between your focus on that and his focus on his company, IMO. Each individual should have the opportunity to pursue their interests and dreams and a relationship should support that. Of course, there will be problems along the way.
I think a lot of problems come down to communication style and therein lies the rub. If one person in a relationship thinks they've communicated their need and the other person doesn't respond to it - then tough sh*#. But to me communicating strong feelings means being explicit - "I need to have these things right now in this R or I'm walking out the door". You seem like a fairly straightforward communicator, so I'm guessing you communicated this and H was simply too wrapped up in work. In my sitch, W never really said anything.
And I've said this earlier, but I think it sounds like you're being completely reasonable in asking him to change. The key is to work together and if he sinks instead of swims, there it is. You just need to be clear about how much energy you can and can't put into things and he needs to understand that. In my sitch, W initially said she would do that, but never really followed through - ended up being the OM influence.
I feel a little angry for the same reasons you do. I supported W while she got Master's and then did 2 years of PhD. She encouraged me to get Master's and said she'd be supportive. So I applied and got accepted and when I started spending my nights in the library, she felt abandoned. Then she reinstated in her PhD and you know the rest.
But as I said of my dad, my step-mom told him what she needed and he provided that for 2 years until she really felt ready. All he asked was that she not start up with someone else, that she'd do things with him on a regular basis, and that she'd tell him if she was unhappy about something. She asked him for space, for patience, and to come to counseling when she asked him to. I think those are reasonable demands on both their parts.
So, to wrap that all up - I think you're being reasonable. The situation is tough, but you're trying whereas my W headed to OM and D as the only possible solution.
