I still have love for H - I still consider him my best friend. We've spent half our lives together, have basically grown up together, and have always had each other to count on. We're both having a hard time letting go, so it makes me wonder if we're supposed to... or did we just give up too soon?
First of all, I commend you for being brave and posting here! I do have to admit that I am not a WAW, but have a WAH. I think he got tired of me being depressed, and he also had an EA and now a PA. I just think if you love your H and he is your best friend, instead of involving an OM it would be so much better to work on your marriage. Then, if OM is not involved, and it doesn't work out, you can make the decision then.
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I care deeply for OM and he has been completely understanding/patient with me, my torment and confusion. He has done what H could never seemingly do - spend time with me (sounds simple, doesn't it?) It's all I ever asked of H and he couldn't do it.
Yeah, OM sounds great, how sweet that he's understanding of the issues you are facing as a married woman? But I don't think generally too highly of people that get involved with married people or have too much sympathy either. OM knew what he was getting involved in, so of course he should be understanding.
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How do you make the choice of whether to stay away or go back? And then how do you deal with the fact that, either way, two hearts get broken?
It seems to me that if you're torn between the two, your H should win that contest hands down. And being a workaholic is not that terrible of a crime I don't think and one that could be worked on I think if your H is willing. If your H is willing to work on his issues, and you have some to work on as well, then I don't know why you wouldn't try to give your marriage a chance. And I'm sorry but I think if you are trying to decide whether to break your H's heart or OM's--OM knew there was that possibility getting involved with a married woman or should have, so that wouldn't be much of a choice for me! Karen
