Guilty as charged.. I am a WAW.

[Bridgestone]

Hi,
It seems as if your reply is a bit different than one I remembered reading first thing this morning. Unless my coffee addicted brain is playing tricks on me. Nothing majorly different, just some word changes.

I hear what you're saying in both the first one and in this one. I have heard them from H before.

Be warned.. listed below is a rant.. please let it be directed towards no one in particular, especially not at you.


It's hard to admit being selfish, he doesn't want to admit his actions of neglecting his marriage or children, by working to grow a multi-million dollar business was selfish on his part.

And I don't want to admit pursuing an advanced degree to the exclusion of a marriage is selfish on my part, but in reality they both were/are. Difference is I am admitting mine in the context of a separation, he reluctantly admits his in hindsight.

End result is,despite who is or was selfish, he has a multi-million dollar business & while I still do not have a PhD.

timing is everything.. I am literally at the do-it now or never stage with the dissertation. It has passed committee, I will collect data (again) this fall and write like a maniac over winter to defend in spring. If it doesn't happen now, it in all likelihood never will. I am not prepared to give up my dream of being able to be in this profession, I truly believe it is my calling, I know it is my passion.

I want my turn instead of just giving up my place in line so someone else.. him, my parents, my in-laws, my kids can have another piece of the resources- my time, energy, or support- I have to give in any given day. I want my resources for me for a change. I know I am the only one who can choose where they go & who gets them and I am choosing me & my kids.


I am asking a lot of him to 'keep making changes & I'll see if they work for me eventually'... that is a lot of anyone person. However, there is a part of me says.. tough sh#%. He didn't want to do what I needed in the moment, then this is the result of those choices for him.

Only he can decide if it is too much for him to do that. I decided it was too much for me to stay in the R as it was. He can decide if those conditions are too much for him to keep the separation as it is.

Rant ended..thanks for listening.