Ramble on....Sorry to find you hear but this is a good place to be for someone in your sitch.
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"Not sure if I ever loved you".
Yep, I got that too. Typical MLC statement. First rule, believe half of what you see, and nothing of what you hear.
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Last few months I have been doing everything to make him happy, but no response from him.
That is because it's not you it's him. Nothing you can do will make him happy. Happiness comes from within. He needs to learn that for himself.
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He moved out to his own apartment this weekend.
This could be a blessing in disguise. Most of them move out and for us it helps that feeling of 'walking on eggshells when they are around' start to disappear.
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that I could use the time to think and be on my own as well
Good for you. You are on the right track. You can use your alone time to work on yourself. (We all could use a little working on.)
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We have been seeing a counselor, both for IC & MC. H says we continue IC for at least a few more sessions but not sure beyond that.
Been there done that too. I think a lot of these MLCers go to counseling in the beginning so they can say that they "tried." Usually for a long time they run away from their problems and are not ready to work on themselves. I am glad to see that you are working on YOU.
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I don't know who I am without him
Along this journey, as long as you keep working on YOU, you will find yourself.
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He says there is no OW, although his 28 year old "assistant" is going through a divorce now and I know she has been leaning on H for support. I may be naive (my mother thinks I am) but H assures me that there is nothing there, and that he wouldn't start another R without ours ending first, and our counselor even believes him.
Unfortunately most of the MLCers have an ow/om. They seem to come with the territory as a bandaid. His relationshop the the 28 year old assistant may not be physical but it sounds like an emotional affair. I don't mean to hurt you by telling you this, I just don't want you to be blindsided if anything comes of it.
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I am trying to be up-beat and cool when I talk to him but I have promised myself that I won't call,e-mail, or anything unless it's an absolute emergency
Again, you are on the right track. Good for you!
I am sorry your children are hurting. No matter how old they are, it always seems to affect them.
Keep posting tjg, you will find a lot of help here for your sitch.
