You are right. I can't fix the problem between H and son....but the rift is getting wider and I truly believe it is one of the reasons H is so stuck. H thought he would leave and everyone would be fine with it. Understand of all his reasons. Guess he didn't count on s16's anger.
S16 is smarter than that. He knows H is running from his responsibilities. Right now H is not a man s16 can respect. I truly think if H turned around and came home....it may take a while, but s16 would come around. I don't see any of it happening ever...to be honest.
Found out through a 3rd party (someone who anonymously called me) that H spent father's day at a hotel. Wish I knew who provided me with the info. I tend to think it is MOW but I have no proof. Whatever. I spend that day consoling d13 because her dad wasn't around for her tournament or to be with her....and he is off medicating with his gf. He told me he was hiding that day because of the pain he was feeling over s16.
I haven't and won't say anything to him about it. I bite my tongue when he complains how broke he is and then shows up on both days this weekend with new shirts on and can spend money on hotel when I have trouble finding money for groceries and am constantly having to rely on my father for food.
I just bite my tongue and chalk it up to him acting the way he did when he was 16. Looks and all. The clothes he had were from the store s16 shops at. Whatever. It truly is a cycle Snodderly. I wish he would realize that all of these things, the clothes, the gf, the tattoo, the hair styled the way it was when he was 16...are not going to work.
Anyway, he did come see d13 play saturday. He also stopped by to see her on sunday as well. I tried to keep my distance from him. I want him to know what it is like not to have me. It was funny, when I was outside yesterday he commented about my new hairstyle. Said it was pretty. Weird...I couldn't help but ask myself...what does he want?
Anyway, I am feeling very independent right now. S16 and I took care of the pool, worked on the lawn, did a lot of things this weekend that I relied on H for....I want him to know that I can survive without him. I have to wonder if he can survive without me. My C once told me that he feeds off my energy. Not sure if that is still true.
In my mind right now it is the kids and I and that's that. They are so fragile right now. S16 is lifeguarding and teaching swimming at the camp d13 is at and both of them came home the first week saying they want to go back next year. It is just what i wanted to hear.
They are having fun being kids. They are too busy to worry about their dad selling their house and the nonsense around them....and I am so happy about that. It is exactly what I wanted for them this summer.
I do feel bad that d13 only gets to see h on weekends now, but I will be honest, she tends to be really moody after spending time alone with him. I don't ask her what they do or talk about, but I get the feeling that something is said or done that bothers her.
Hard to believe, Snodderly, as I looked at my threads from last year around this time, you actually thought that my H missed home and would return. I know you can't predict the future, but I am sure your feeling has changed. My H is farther away than before and I don't know if he can get himself out of this to see his way home. I don't know if he wants to .
