Yeah, I have been thinking some, though I am not all the way out of the woods.
I have to work on me.
I have to confront her directly about her tone with me. I can not let her continue to use the same tone on me as on our children. I am not her child nor am I subject to her directives. I need to work on not treating her like she is stupid when she asks questions she really ought to know the answer to (in my opinion).
I am going to continue the sex strike. I have no need to feel degraded after trying to have sex or after having had sex with her. I realize I generally feel worse afterwards. I satisfy myself better than she does anyway. I don't critisize myself for my performance or whatever else. Certainly I am not witholding anything from her that she values.
I will talk with her about the sex, but I am not sure what good that will do. We can't afford the copays for a lousy therapist, much less pay the going rate for a good one. This implies that there is no immediate solution available. In my opinion, even getting her to the point where she would admit she has an issue (highly unlikely) would do no good as she has no way of getting past the issues. Again, her opinion, this is all about me. But, why identify a problem that you are in no position to fix or work on?
So, my plan is to hit a place where I can survive the holding pattern until finances improve or she is hit by lighting or otherwise notices that our marriage is not sound.
