If you still have hopes of reconciling the relationship that is.
Re-read your post.
"I think", "cannot prove", "all the signs".
What does it gain you? Does it make YOU feel better about what you've done to point out what SHE's done? Is this a tit for tat kind of thing?
I detect some attitude in your posts. I really get the impression that you think your wife should be giving you a free pass because of your health problems. It sure looks like you expect her to rejoice that you've found your problem out, embrace your happy family again, and forget about everything in the past.
Re-read your OTHER posts. What you describe is damned scary. And for a wife and daughter? Are you telling me that because of a gluten intolerance you were unable to keep yourself from going in to a lunatic rage that scared the bejeezus out of your daughter and wife?
That's how SHE is thinking right now.
In my eyes, your only option is to get some distance, allow her to regain HER composure, and begin with small steps between the two of you. Hope that she drags her feet on the actual divorce business, and you can drag yours as well.
What you all have lived through has not been pleasant. Don't minimize how difficult it has been for her. You both have to own up to many things and make some significant changes before this is ready to be repaired.
Your job now is to make sure that every day you are walking with integrity and honor. Be the man/father that you are called to be. Give your wife a chance to heal, without cramming your love for her and your desire for your marriage down her throat at every opportunity. And if you can manage to stop feeling sorry for yourself because "she just won't try" that would help too.
How many of these cycles has she been through? I think she's done pretty good at trying. Though she is not without fault here either.
Some humbleness is going to have to become a part of your daily way of living if you hope to endure this.
Blessings,
bill
"Don't tell me the sky is the limit when there are footprints on the moon."
