Bring on the Rain - Part 3

[SueS]

Good morning!

NoCode- To answer your question first, the van is in both our names, so he does use it from time to time. I make the payments on it though. I've just become so accustom to having exclusive use of it that I'm a little protective. And, I know that my H has full intention of having me take the van when we split.

Sheila- Thanks for the insight on my H's behavior. Even though we've been at this for a long time now it's still hard sometimes to step back and say.....ahhh, I know why you're doing this! You know, it's strange. He went from a complete a$$ to being very nice again. I almost wonder if something had gone wrong between H and OW or if he was worked up about something with her. He was a bit snippy yesterday morning too. D4 and I woke up around 8:30 and I offered to make pancakes (D4's favorite!). I asked if he would want any. He told me NO. Then, as I was making them, he came into the kitchen and made his own breakfast. Trust me, the man loves pancakes. D4 and I enjoyed them anyway!! So, he left to go workout. D4 and I went & cleaned out the van. After he got back, he was still a bit snippy, but not as bad. He left to go hit golf balls and got back around 3:15. He was in a good mood. Guess what? He'd talked to OW! He jumped on & off the pc all night too. Then, he was flirty with me, making sexual comments. He made this awesome dinner too. He even tried to rub my arm when we were sitting watching tv. This morning I gave D4 a hug when I left for work. He said...What?, I don't get one? I asked him when the last time was that he allowed a hug from me. Then I gave him a 1/2 a$$ hug and left. Not sure what's going on.

I just want away from the flip flopping of emotions with this man. I find myself upset when he's out late & on the pc or when I know he's out making calls to OW, but then I'm in a panic state when it seems like he's being overly nice to me. Like I'm afraid of him wanting to come back to me. I've come so far and he's done/said so much that I just want to be on my own (me & D4). I want away from any future pain from this man. I stop and realize that there's no way I could trust him again. I'm scared of ever being able to trust anyone again.

Well, I really need to get caught up on some things here at work. Take care & have a good day everyone....or evening for you Saffie.

Sidenote........Anyone know how Pamar is? It's been way too long since he's been on.

SueS