Hope4us struggle, part 6

[Hope4us]

Yep, I've considered it. I'm just struggling with how detaching seems to be working and how the last couple times she's seemed to warm up to me and then I push some and she retreats. Wouldn't me attempting something be pushing?

Saturday when we were standing there looking at the rainbow I almost grabbed her for a quickie hug, but I didn't.

Thing is, like I mentioned, I'm not sure if I even WANT to go there. Don't get me wrong, I'd kill for some affection, but it's almost like if she does want to get close to me and I do ask or try something with her, then she's making me put myself out there again with the risk of getting shot down or retreated from AGAIN. And I'm not sure I can take that right now. All she'd have to do is give me a little sign, a touch, something and maybe I could go there, but I just struggle with the fact that she's the one that has done all this and now it seems like she's wanting me to take the risk once again and I'm not sure I am ready for that.

We'll see. DS16 is at his friends house in our hometown for the week so we'll have plenty of opportunities if she really wants to go there.