Sometimes I wonder if it is really worth all this hassel. W and I went out again on Saturday to dinner and shopping for some plants for in front of house. Got home around 9:30 and we watch tv till 11:00. W stayed up and waited for my D to come home. She must have been carring her cell phone around because it was not where she normaly puts it but it was there in the morning when I woke up.
She also bought a book about a woman who is married but runs into an old boyfriend and is torn between him and her husband. Its called "Love the one your with". Its an appropriate title.
Yesterday I planted the plants we had bought. Again the W must have had her cell phone on her all day. Makes me wonder if she is talking to OM or not.
It was my b-day so we had dinner and I got cards and gifts from my kids and W. Of course she just signed hers. No love nothing, what did I expect. Need to just say WTF, because dwelling on it does not do any good.
Just don't know how much longer I can take this until I just call it quits. I hate the non trust issue and since I don't know for sure if they are still talking or not I just cannot seem to get over it.
I see alot of positive but she has always done things like this so none of it seems to be out of the ordinary to me. I just don't think we are getting anywhere and I don't think she really wants to. I feels she has left and it does not matter what I do she does not want to have feelings for me. I might be wrong but that is how I am feeling at this point.
I am certanly not looking forward towards our anniversary this weekend. Same s*** with a bogus card and a half hearted effort to seem happy.
