And the rollercoaster continues #2

[fooled again]

klm,

I have never posted to you before, but I am so very, very sorry that you find yourself here. What I can say is that I know EXACTLY how you feel, at least the catching your H AGAIN after you thought you were piecing.

My most current thread is The Ultimatum. Three weeks ago I caught my H for the 4th time, same OW. I won't go into the details - if you're interested you can read my post.

After thinking about it for a few days, I decided to do the one thing I was afraid to do for nearly 2 yrs, but wanted to do since I first caught my H. B/c I haven't read much of your thread, I don't know if you've already done this already. I gave my H an ultimatum.

After catching him again this last time, I went dark, but as usual, after a few days H started sending me msgs, texts, etc. saying he loved me, not to give up on him, you know the drill. I thought long & hard about what I should do, and I knew if I was going to walk away and close the door to my M, I had to be sure of my own decision to do so. In my ultimatum I told my H exactly what he needed to do if he wanted to be with me, step by step, & if he couldn't or wouldn't do what I asked, we would have no R at all - no friendship, no sex ever, no trying again in a few months, NOTHING, except coparenting.

I saw your thread b/c I'm considering posting in "Piecing" - I never made that leap in nearly 2 years, something told me it was too soon. But now, things are moving along, and I honestly believe it was b/c I finally had the guts to say "this is it, if you can't do it, let me go, I'm not afraid to lose you". I was always afraid he'd say "okay, bye".

I hope that you are sure about all of the steps you are taking. You are so incredibly hurt, you feel so incredibly stupid, you are angry, and feeling vengeful - I soooooo know how you feel. BUT, give yourself some time, if only just to digest what has happened. Only you know what's best for you, and you owe it to yourself to do what you need to do to take care of yourself. I have a D7 who's life will be dramatically affected by our decision to D or not, so I needed to be sure of what I was doing. My friends think I am out of my mind, and they are dropping like flies, but in the end, I'm the only one who can live my life, and I can only live it for me. You have to do the same.

((((((hugs)))))) to you. Be brave, be strong, be fabulous. I will pray for you.

FA