State of Mind

[BeingMe]

Yep, I'm still around! Thanks for that quote ... it is so true!

I don't have much to report on my M. I have no idea what my H is thinking, or not thinking. I don't know if he's involved with someone else (he certainly has the freedom to be so, since he is working on a project a long way from home), and I only see him on weekends. It's the same ol', same ol'! I think I will end my life in celibacy. I have come to terms with it. My H doesn't seem to be romantically interested in me, although when I bring it up, he denies that. But, actions (or lack thereof) speak louder than words, as far as I'm concerned.

I have no inclination to snoop or find out. It doesn't matter. There will come a day, I think, when I will decide it's over, and I will move on. Just waiting for D15 to finish school, and then I will revisit my options.

In the meantime, I am planning on going back to school full-time, and hoping I can have a career where I can support myself. At least, with as little support from my H as possible, and then only what is fair, and legally mine.

It is so strange, this weird place in our M, we find ourselves. We do have fun (apparently, that's one of the things he really likes about me, and even told that to his OW ... gee, thanks H). He just bought himself a new motor bike (I suggested it, because I felt he needed something for all the hard work he does, supporting his family). Anyway, we took the bike over to the mainland to meet up with my BIL and SIL (my H's brother), as they were attending a conference. We slept overnight. So, you would all think (and, so did I) that this would be a great opportunity for him to get romantic, even if it doesn't get physical (and, I am more interested in the romance, but the rest would be nice too). But, no, nothing, nada, zilch, niks, zero!!!! I will now stop expecting anything from him in that department.

Well, this is getting into the land of novels, so I'll call it a night. Hope y'all find what you're looking for.

Wii .... sounds like you're having 'fun' with the ladies! I don't even want to think what it will be like, out there, on my own, interacting with other men. The thought gives me the shivers. Love ya guys, but I just don't have the fortitude to even think about getting to know another one romantically. Maybe, 'cause I just don't have the self confidence anymore. I dunno.

Anyway, g'night!