Guess my wife is going through a MLC

[lynn97]

So I'm new to this section but not the boards. The rest of my story is here
The beginning

Now the short of the story is that wife asked for a separation because she wasn't happy with our marriage or who she had become. She wanted to become more independent, realized she was leaning on me too much, etc. At the same time she started an EA with an old friend of mine. Well it's been a week since I've been out of the house and one heck of a roller coaster ride that you can read in the link above.

So tonight she told me that she wanted a real separation this time. No intimacy, no OM, I need to stay away. I still need to be a father to my kids but the best I can be with her is a friend. She is scared to be around me too much because she falls back to me and starts to lose herself, her independence. I cloud her mind. She's not ready for a D, because we haven't given separation a chance. However she is also not even thinking of our relationship, she wants to work on herself for now and that's it. The R may or may not work in the end.

So I agreed. I was doing lots of active listening and just hearing her out. I didn't add much to the conversation besides validating her feelings. I really do believe this would be good for her, she went from her fathers house to mine and she wants to prove to herself that she can make it without a man. We also have had quite a bit wrong with our relationship that would need to change before anything could happen.

She even said if we can be friends she didn't see a problem living in the same house together as roommates. This would be better for the kids I'm sure but it sounds like a bad idea right now for us. I haven't even started detaching, she is going to try to fall back to me on bad days, etc. On the other hand if we were together she would have more time to see my improvements. Not sure what you guys think of this one?

So I guess any advice you guys could give would be appreciated. Right now I'm just going to give her space, be her friend when she wants me to be, and GAL.

Lynn