I don't think I've posted to you, at least not too often, but I see you around a lot!
I'm so, so, so, sorry! I can't imagine how you feel. And I really can't believe that he could blame you! The minds of these guys are really messed up. He's not sorry for what he did, he's sorry he got caught!
I'm so sorry this has happened to you and for a second time!
No one will blame you for filing. You have to protect yourself and you know when you are done with this. I can see that this would be a "straw that broke the camel's back" moment. Do what you feel you need to do and know that we are all here for you.
Michelle
T19 M15 S19 XH47 M43 bomb12/4/07 PA5/07 S12/26/07 D final 11/17/08 Back together with no defined R 05/2010 confused....to say the least!!!
Thanks everybody. I just don't know what to do. I mean, I really want to hurt him.
I just sent him an email telling him I am filing, and I also told him the terms. His aparment lease is in my name because he couldn't get it in his. I am canceling it, so I imagine he will have to move to a different (not near as nice) place.
Also his car is in both our names and I pay the insurance. We were in the middle of refinancing so that his payment wasn't so high. I was sending in the papers this week, not anymore. He will have to get the car in his name or sell it by the time the divorce is final. In the meantime, he must pay his insurance.
I will also put that he has to pay for half the house expenses (for those of you who don't know my story, we are in AL and we have a house for sale in TX...I have been paying ALL expenses). I told him that I realize that he doesn't have the money for this...but neither would I if I was living in an apartment so he should start making other arrangements.
This is the straw that broke the camel's back.
Originally Posted By: dry_heat
He's not sorry for what he did, he's sorry he got caught!
EXACTLY!
This just baffles me because things were going so good. He was telling me everything about OW (this is not original OW, somebody he works with), and it just seemed like we were both being so open and honest. I feel like a fool. I didn't even know what was going on when he took me outside. How could I be so stupid????
oh yeah, not sure what to do about this wedding now.
I SOOOO don't want to go by myself but I can't imagine going with H.....we even went and bought him clothes today. I may just have to go alone and tell people H had to work.
I have never posted to you before, but I am so very, very sorry that you find yourself here. What I can say is that I know EXACTLY how you feel, at least the catching your H AGAIN after you thought you were piecing.
My most current thread is The Ultimatum. Three weeks ago I caught my H for the 4th time, same OW. I won't go into the details - if you're interested you can read my post.
After thinking about it for a few days, I decided to do the one thing I was afraid to do for nearly 2 yrs, but wanted to do since I first caught my H. B/c I haven't read much of your thread, I don't know if you've already done this already. I gave my H an ultimatum.
After catching him again this last time, I went dark, but as usual, after a few days H started sending me msgs, texts, etc. saying he loved me, not to give up on him, you know the drill. I thought long & hard about what I should do, and I knew if I was going to walk away and close the door to my M, I had to be sure of my own decision to do so. In my ultimatum I told my H exactly what he needed to do if he wanted to be with me, step by step, & if he couldn't or wouldn't do what I asked, we would have no R at all - no friendship, no sex ever, no trying again in a few months, NOTHING, except coparenting.
I saw your thread b/c I'm considering posting in "Piecing" - I never made that leap in nearly 2 years, something told me it was too soon. But now, things are moving along, and I honestly believe it was b/c I finally had the guts to say "this is it, if you can't do it, let me go, I'm not afraid to lose you". I was always afraid he'd say "okay, bye".
I hope that you are sure about all of the steps you are taking. You are so incredibly hurt, you feel so incredibly stupid, you are angry, and feeling vengeful - I soooooo know how you feel. BUT, give yourself some time, if only just to digest what has happened. Only you know what's best for you, and you owe it to yourself to do what you need to do to take care of yourself. I have a D7 who's life will be dramatically affected by our decision to D or not, so I needed to be sure of what I was doing. My friends think I am out of my mind, and they are dropping like flies, but in the end, I'm the only one who can live my life, and I can only live it for me. You have to do the same.
((((((hugs)))))) to you. Be brave, be strong, be fabulous. I will pray for you.
FA
What does not destroy me, makes me stronger.
FA:43, H:42 D:7 M:10 yrs, T:24 yrs EA:?, PA:1/06 S:3/07 EA/PA ongoing Aborted attempt to move home 07/08
Oh honey! I am so sorry! I can't believe this happened when things really seemed to be progressing! I can't imagine what is going through his head. He is SOOOOO stupid!
((((((((BIG hugs)))))))
Michelle - Proud DR Rockette S: 28JUL07, D'd: 29OCT09 http://tinyurl.com/27j9qo2
I just wanted to say how sorry I am about your H. He is behaving lik a huge pair of ugly pants and you don't deserve this at all. I'm not surprised that you're furious. He is really being a jerk.
I slept last night because I took a sleeping pill. This morning H had responded to his email and it said "If that's what you have to do, then do it. I am not gonna sit here and explain my methods of madness to you (WTF??). As far as the arrangements for the money, I think we both know how that will go. I am tired of stressing about money, so whatever happens happens."
I hate him. I mean it. I am stuck with this damn house and living with my mom while he has his apartment to cheat on me in. NO wonder he wasn't ready for me to move in.
I really hate him for doing this to me the week before that wedding. It is already going to be emotional. I am also the matron of honor and I have to give a speech. I will never get through it.
Kris, I wish I had something to say. Keep venting it does help. If this is a diferent OW then the first he has a problem... take care.. Wish I could go to the wedding with ya
H
And if I claim to be a wise man, well It surely means that I don't know
