I saw sg's call out, and came over for a look. I have to admit, I didn't read every word!
I agree with Bill, though. I think there will have to be a separation of some sort. She is going to have to get away from you before she can see that you are not the cause of everything bad in her life. She is going to have to see you healthy for a LONG time. She's seen it before. I know, you are being treated differently this time, but from her point of view, that's what you thought the last time. From this standpoint, I would try to remember that her anger isn't directed so much at you, but at those behaviors that in the past you have been unable to control. And that you acknowledge were pretty terrible. That's where her anger is directed, and it seems pretty understandable.
From your side, I think you are going to need to see that she does stop the excessive gambling. And gets through the restlessness she seems to be going through. I kind of think that she is having a bit of a midlife crisis, quite possibly triggered to some degree by the problems you have had between you.
I think you both need a timeout, whatever it takes to get there.
