CW - I am new to your sitc - but I connected with you very fast - We have the same age, we live in the same area - married around the same, 2 small kids and a WAS. Incredible! I feel your pain, I have the same pain too. I told myself many many times that if there is a moment in life where I HAVE TO build a strong character this is the one. What helped me has been to deeply understand that I should stop having my imagination go crazy about what W is thinking or up to - I will never know. I bought books about seduction - I know... I know.... - but they made me feel in control again, now I have a new game that I play with W - Will I win? probably not, but I want to mess with her mind 3 times more than she did with mine. I tell you it can be fun. Your H should become the one wondering what YOU are up to.... he should wonder all the time: why did she do that?? Example, at the gym, probably he knew why you were friendly first and then you put yourself on the opposite side to stretch, like he wasn't there... I mean.... he was comfortable, everything was as expected, he was prepared for that. Wouldn't have been fun if you could shock him in some way? Stun him? Made him wonder? He is confident and you have to brake his confidence without mercy. Your old neighbors are surely wonderful wise people, and we all know that our S are just plain stupid in behaving like they do - but at the end everybody have what they want. Our S live in a different world, they see different things then us, and I am not say their world is more "fantasy" than ours, it is just different and if we try to "explain" what we see they don't understand, the same we cannot understand their world. Our goal it to DRAG them in our world, but for them to peek inside they need to wonder. Be strong - a year of this roller coaster is very hard - I'll try to keep up with your sitc.
