So today I called and left another Birthday message for my SD. Again, no one picked up the phone, no response... better than a nasty one, right?
I've finally gotten to Chapter 6 of the DR book... whew. Took a lot of notes. I like the Solution Journal idea and plan to utilize that one! I'm not usually a note taker, but for some reason, I figured putting pen to paper was more action-oriented than mental visualization and gave me a since of 'doing something' even when technically, I'm doing nothing. Gave me less of the feeling that I'm just sitting and waiting... which really, is what I'm doing. Makes me sad.
And my H did not follow through with providing me my things like he said he would... so, another round we'll go. THIS IS FRUSTRATING!!!! But again, it's better than him throwing my stuff to the curb, right? I assume he's been busy.
Sadly, I miss 'my life' terribly. I hate being at my parents, but I have no where else to go. I turned in a job application to one that I really really want this week, so I need prayers for that! I so need a job. Get me out of the house, I'll have money in my pocket to do things I want. Right now, I feel like my life is on hold. Sucks. My mother keeps following me around the house like I'm some sick puppy. I hate it. Very clingy and needy. So, if this sitting and waiting isn't going to get the best of me, my mother sure is! LOL.
When I look back, I was very content with a lot of things, just not happy with the way my husband approached me or handled some things. I often felt blindsided by a lot of things, but I think I may have figured better ways to deal with that now and am beginning to think that maybe my H is in midlife after all? I don't know. Not saying that I'm perfect, oh no... but I can see some pot holes in both of us. It's all very confusing and frustrating. I wish I knew what I know now, like I think it's absolutely a hilarious idea to shred your clothes off during a fight! That would be fun to try... but sadly, I have a long way to go, I fear. I don't really know why I still have hope, but in my heart, I do. I'm cautiously moving forward though, that's good.
