Wow. What you all have been through is something else. I'm glad that you can understand why your wife is practically terrified of having you around. That understanding is very important for you in order to do what you need to do.
I was going to ask about what kind of right you had to the house myself. Is this marital property? If so, you may do some checking with a L before moving out, just to make sure you're not giving up some hold there.
That being said, you need to be apart from this woman. Or, more specifically, she needs to be apart from you.
These things build up over time. Wounds last longer than we would like. Your wife is afraid of another outburst, and rightfully so with what you've shared. At this point the medical information cannot even be considered by her, she wants you out that bad.
No DB'ing will be very effective until you do something to get her out of this agitated state.
So she's filed. That doesn't mean the divorce happens tomorrow. And you can drag your feet as long as you like on responding to issues there, allowing yourself time to let the separation help.
More later. But I feel very strongly that some type of separation must occur soon. Her behavior now is far beyond her behavior in the past. Stay together and things might come to a head.
Blessings,
Bill
"Don't tell me the sky is the limit when there are footprints on the moon."
