Wow, there are a lot of us police wives. I even brought up that connection with him ,and he is adament NONE of this has to do with his job. Which I KNOW we had real other issues ,but the change in the person he is most definitely has to do with his job.
He was the optimist, always saw the good in anybody, mr. friendly. Now he's much more a pessimest, thinks people suck, and looks for the bad. Pretty much what I think he is doing now. He can't even imagine that the GOOD could come from working it out. I think he can only imagine it as settling, even though that is NOT what I want either of us to do. So frustrating.
Well, yesterday I got some painting in my bedroom done and I love it. H came to D6's T ball game yesterday then took the girls for the rest of the day until 2pm. Then he had to bring them home early because he was working an off duty job at 4pm. He was out the whole time with them so I didn't see him much. Probably a good thing. Tomorrow will be harder. Mondays are one of his days off, so he will be out her ALL day with them tomorrow and has promised to stay for dinner with them and put them to bed. So LOTS of hours to try to avoid R talk, not an easy task for me these days. Hope I can do it.
Hey, at this point, if I could get through a freakin' visit without crying in front of him, I'd call it good. LOL
Today I got the front yard and backyard mowed, so now along with the field mowing I got done last weekend now all 4 acres is nice and groomed. That combined with the painting, and lots of weeding and stuff I did in our gardens should show him, I'm standing on my own just fine.
Not really, but I figure it looks good anyway.
I'm really annoyed with the situation right now, but I know I have to let it go. For financial reasons, we cannot afford an apartment, and he only had this option to stay at. I know it is what it is, but I'm annoyed that I will NEVER get to sleep in, I will NOT get to go out unless I make a point to have someone here with them etc......... Meanwhile, he calls tonight to say goodnight to our D's and tells me he's at our friend B's house for a BBQ. I feel like instead of missing those days with us, he's just having a ball.
UGH.
Oh well. I think he is going to take them swimming tomorrow so they'll love that. I might try to do some more painting while they are gone. I scored some AWESOME paint deals at Home Depot last weekend in their bad mixes. I always check those out ,because you can't beat a gallon for 5 bucks! So I really scored where there were 3 gallons that matched. Plenty to do our living room too.
I'm painting how I've wanted to, and I sure hope it's not a mistake if we end up having to sell this house, but I'm trying to plan as though I (we) will be here. And it gives me something to do.
Chris
__________ Me:39 H:39 D:8 D:4 M:9 (T 13) Bomb 4-5-08, H moved out 6-16-08, Reconciled and H moved back in 5-31-09 Still doing GREAT a year later!!!
