Status Unkown

[redsawks44]

LOL isn't it funny that we've all spent time thinking about this? Another thing I notice is that I constantly check for rings on other people now. Never did that before.

I so notice that now... isn't it crazy?? LOL

she saw i was wearing it tonight btw.. didn't say anything

[redsawks44]

Oh, and I forgot, but she joked that I should use my sick day to come visit her, so that was very encouraging.

[jon2911]

Interesting texts from W today:

W: Where will you be this weekend?
Me: Good 'ole Dallas. You?
W: Austin w/ Blythe

- Blythe is a high school friend, who is not supportive of our M. Interesting how W is gravitating to single friends like her.

Later:

W: my cell is awesome! Thanks for your help. Wish you could come into Austin and see me. and bring the Dyson....*evil laugh* hotel room real quick?

Dyson is a very nice vacuum that's still at my place. So I guess she's still making plans for her own apartment.

I doubt that this is a real invitation, Blythe doesn't like me right now, and I can't interrupt girl time. Plus I have plans of my own, and W knows that. I'll probably go with a light response.

[ms ladybug]

Don't worry about her getting her own apt. She needs to be out of her dad's house anyway as he's not encouraging her relationship with you any.

Perhaps a light response like, "oh, I'd love to join in on the girl time in Austin. Let's see...we can all go get pedicures, sip dacquari's and just giggle all day. Sounds like fun. Too bad I have to stay here and...(whatever cool guy thing you have planned."

[jon2911]

W called at 6:45 this morning, sounding very energetic. She said she hadn't slept much. I tried to wake up enough to talk, but wasn't very successful. Found out that she's going to Austin tomorrow, to go out dancing and find her friend a boyfriend. I told her that sounds fun (yeah, right).

She kept dropping hints that she wanted me to come visit, and it was very hard to stand my ground. My sister has a graduation party tonight that I don't want to miss. I kept remembering Michelle's LRT:
"accept some invitations to spend time together, but not all".

Whenever I follow that, I get worried that it will backfire. We'll see.

[jon2911]

Today is W's birthday, and I've already given her a gift, but most likely that's the reason she really wanted to get together. Birthdays and holidays are extremely important to W, and I always screwed them up.

she called while I was at S's graduation party, with another phone question, I found the answer and we had a nice, light conversation. Later in the night she left me a sweet thank you message, almost sounded like she wanted to say ILU at the end. Don't want to read into it to much, but it was nice. A little bummed out today so I'm heading out for some guy time. Have a great weekend everyone!

[MichelleLT]

(((Jon))) I am only halfway back from military stuff, I'll catch up later. Keep up the good work though. It sounds like she is thinking a lot. Just be patient!

[jon2911]

Was having a great day, playing at church went great and I'm building some good relationships. Then I found that W had texted me several times this morning:

"In a huge financial pinch again. I'm so sorry to do this to you. I hope you are feeling back to full health."

"Please work on Harding case ASAP. Also, car insurance due in August. I do really appreciate health benefits, thank you."

"Get prior coverage from HR lady, I still have thousands sitting out there. 2 pills Doc put me on are really helping!"

"All of these texts are confidential and your decision alone. Please give me some form of trust in you."


A little background, Harding is a car accident case, we won in court but still need to get money from the guy. Health insurance is giving us trouble about prior coverage (one of their common excuses), so I need to call them Monday.

I'm pissed off right now. The car insurance is for her brand new car (first thing she bought when we separated), my motorcycle is a separate policy. I want to help, but she's digging a huge hole.

Will probably call and be calm and in control, tell her not to worry it will be OK. I already had several of these things on my to-do list for Monday.

So, sounds like she's really stressed. Maybe this is all good? At the very least it's reality time (finally) for my W.

[MichelleLT]

It's only reality time if you don't bail her out too much. The stuff that was already on your to-do list, fine. But the car insurance for her new car??? I'm thinking you may need to let reality bite her in the a$$ a little. She wanted her freedom, don't make her feel dependent on you.

[jon2911]

It's only reality time if you don't bail her out too much. The stuff that was already on your to-do list, fine. But the car insurance for her new car??? I'm thinking you may need to let reality bite her in the a$$ a little. She wanted her freedom, don't make her feel dependent on you.

Well, it's a joint policy for my truck (which I barely drive) and her car. Realistically, 70% of the bill is hers, but I was splitting it 50-50 to be nice. I could get my own policy, but that's another of the "de-coupling" things I'm trying to avoid. My perspective might've just changed though.

W called me last night with a MAJOR bomb. She overdrew a credit card and didn't realize it, so the monthly payments she made didn't cover it. Friday she got a collections letter, and it will take $8,000 to get it back in good standing.

What the hell is going on? She's the most responsible person I know, way more than me. A little background here. W's family is extremely rich. I brought student loans and credit card debt into the marriage, she brought none. In fact, she owns part of a natural gas well and gets several thousand in royalties every month. A lot of that went to paying for my school. And we ran up the credit cards as well. I had no clue that our insurance wouldn't pay any of her medical bills. Bottom line, I screwed up our finances.

Now I've got a much better job with better benefits, and they're still not paying for any. It's been around $10,000 already this year, reimbursement? $0. So, that's on my to-do list for today.

W had perfect credit and no debt when we got married, so she blames me for all of this. And to a large extent, she's right. But she's also a spoiled brat who never learned to pay a credit card every month. And that's not my fault.

The other back-story is that W's parents are divorced, and her mom is dead, so she has a HUGE inheritance coming from her grandparents in the next 5 years or so. Somewhere in the millions. Plus, she owns part of her stepdad's business, which did over a million in sales last year.

So, big picture she's fine. She's a millionare, just doesn't have access to any of it quite yet. This is the main reason I made so many poor financial decisions during our M. I thought this would be a temporary health problem, and even if we racked up some bills getting it solved, her inheritance would take care of it.

She's getting a healthy dose of reality for the first time in her life, and I need to let her go through it. Another side note is that the gas well is drying up. How much further down is rock bottom for my W? As hopeless as I feel right now, I'm glad that she feels she can share this stuff with me.