Hey lwb, concentrate on the good stuff, wow, you must have had a great time at the race, its nice that you had someone to run with. I knew you could do it. Any plans to run anymore 5K's they have them everywhere around St Louis.
Quote:
lwb: If I am in the room with him, I can't even make eye contact with him. I am quieter, but still kind. I try and wait for the moment to pass, give it a day or two, then I'm in a better spot to be friendlier.
I'm the same way you almost quote my post exactly, I try to be civil, its hard I know, I cannot make eye contact with my W either and I try to stay out of the same room until she leaves, which normally is pretty quick.
I'll check back in with you later, have a great Sunday - doesn't look like a good to go swimming in St Louis - rain today
We all have a long haul ahead of us, good or bad it's the path we choose in life that's important.
M45 W41 M10 3/4 years D9, D6, D6, S5 OM confirmed 12/07 merry christmas to me WAM (Walk Away Mom) 05/31/08 Date I'll forgive W for A = never
Thanks Jeff. I wish you could have done the race too. I have no plans for another right now, but it did feel good to finish it.
And yep, rainy here. I am at work, my niece is watching the girls If I heard their plans correctly, they are Kung Foo Panda right now. Good rainy day distraction.
First off...WAY TO GO!!! Inspired by your example, I actually did a little walk/run/walk action this morning... How long did it take you to work up to feeling like you could do that 5K??
And (((hugs))) to you on your discovery...even when you suspect, it's gut-wrenching to have confirmation... I'm so sorry. However, you sound like you were only temporarily derailed by it...good job.
Just a quick check in right now... want to post some questions/ask for advice on my thread tonight, so drop by late if you're around lady...
You should come to T-town for our RFTC in September (?!?!)
Congratulations on your race, LWB!!! And I'm even more impressed how you handle bad news. You are so strong and inspiring to everyone here!!! (((((LWB)))))) Karen
Your H.... what a fool! But you knew that OW#1 was but a symptom of something worse. Granted, she didn't have to be a willing accomplice, but your H is the chief culprit. I am so sorry.
And no, you don't owe him "friendly", just "congenial" -- and only for the sake of your DD's. He is nobody's friend -- not even his own.
One day God's going to lead you to someone who truly values you for the wonderful woman you are. A decent guy who will treat you right. In that I have faith.
Way to go with the race!! that' awesome. Great to have some support from your friend too
Your H is a real dic$head.. sorry but what a complete jerk!!! He really makes me sick.. but really lwb this just shows you that you ARE making the RIGHT decision!! He just can't stop himself, and soon this will no longer be your problem.
He will not change until he really hits bottom. and HER.. another spouse cheating??? I just can't stomach it.
(((((hugs))))
tal
me: 37 H: 44 Married for 18 years this june S7 S3 porn issues, and much more... since 7/06
Happiness can be found, even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light.
Your H reminds me a lot of one of my friends. Apparently she had an affair with a guy from work. He was married and it went on for a good 6 or 9 months. They even talked about divorcing their spouses and marrying each other. Well, she went ahead with the D and he ended up going back with his W.
In the meantime, she decided she still wanted the D. She figured there was plenty of fun guys out there, and she didn't want to be married to her "boring" H so she went through with the D.
During the last couple of years I've observed her go from enjoying the "wild single life" where she originally started out having short relationships with other D men or married cheaters, and sleeping with every guy in town... to finally morphing into someone who doesn't want to be alone, and would really like a real reationship.
Anyhow she recently met a guy and instead of having S with him the first night, she AMAZINGLY has held off for two weeks!!!
It sure has been interesting to observe my friend and these changes. Who knows maybe your H will go through something similar. I imagine he's intrigued by the novelty and excitement of this lifestyle. Of course, by the time he's tired of it you will probably be happily remarried....
There is no arriving, ever. It is all a continual becoming.
Great job on the race. I'm so proud of you. I thought about you yesterday as I was huffing & puffing to keep up with D4 on her bike.
As far as your H goes. Wow, I'm sorry. You know, I think that even if it were another woman other than OW, it would bother me. I'm ready to move on, but it would still hurt. What is with the world today? You mentioned that this new OW appears to be married, with kids. I know at least 2 people in my office that had affairs. Both married, one with kids. I've had a couple of good friend's whose spouses have had affairs. And then there's my own sitch. 2 affairs that I'm aware of and the longer I go through this, the more I believe that there's been others....at least 1 night stands or messing around. It makes it very hard to feel like I'll be able to build trust in anyone again.
Did the girls like Kung Fu Panda? D4 loved it, although there were a couple of parts she thought were scary. Good thing her mommy has such good hugs for her!
Have a good day!
SueS
ME: 42, H: 42, D6 Together: 18 yrs. Married: 15 yrs. Attended Retrouvaille - December 2009 Status: Working on it day by day
I imagine he's intrigued by the novelty and excitement of this lifestyle. Of course, by the time he's tired of it you will probably be happily remarried....
root, you pegged it. He is caught up in the novelty of his exciting life. I am the boring person that works hard, gets appropriate rest, and stays home with her kids when I am off work. I can't 'compete', nor do I want to. I am always right where I want to be (ok, not at work lol). I do want a new relationship in the future. I love being married, having a partner. I almost can't wait to find a better man, someone who likes that I am 'boring'. MWAH!
Hey Sue, the new women in H's life doesn't hurt as much as if he were still with OW, but it does still hurt. You are correct.
So much more mess:
Long story short, H accidentally hit on a friend of a friend of mine on Saturday night. We had been out with this woman and her H numerous times in the past (as couples). H had no clue, until she (amen!) said "I am friends with your W, Mr. LWB. I can't believe you don't remember that" and he completely freaked out and left the bar. Wow. I thanked my friend for sticking up for me. I am mortified even though I know its all him. I cried hard when I heard about this.
Also, H fell asleep on the couch last night. I told him I was NOT setting my alarm to help him wake up for work. Nope. He was fine with it. Overslept today, freaked out, cried, and left for work late without saying goodbye to the girls. I almost regret not waking him (work is 'business', not emotion and it will mess us BOTH up if he gets fired), but my mind told me not to help him. Feels so wrong.
Blecky.
PS: Sue, they loved the movie, but I think they liked the popcorn even more.
Sorry that was so painful about H and your friend. I'm glad she held up her morality and supported your friendship. Is he still living with you or at his father's place? When will he be out and you won't have to deal with close proximity? I think having him gone while he's in the midst of moral abyss would be better for both of you.
There is no arriving, ever. It is all a continual becoming.
Any plans to run anymore 5K's they have them everywhere around St Louis.