Number 8, still too late for DB to work.

[cw68]

It would have to be iron-clad in writing so that a potential future girlfriend couldn't screw it up. He said, why would that happen? Me: H, you never know. she might not like ties to your ex, might try to get in between us/you and the kids, etc. Him: that's absurd. Why would that happen? Me: Happens all the time. Girl/boyfriend relationships can really f things up. H just doesn't want to think of anything except how he thinks it's going to be: the perfect divorce.

Hi cw. Sorry you have to go through this with your H. I have had similar convos with my H. He says "if another woman can't understand that you and D are important to me then she'll either have to deal with it or leave" BS! We all know that future relationships frequently have a lot of jealously for the previous S especially if there are children involved. The gf/bf will often do whatever it takes to ensure that they appear to care about the child and want the ex spouses to be friends just to "get" the other S but then if it gets to marriage the whole game changes.

We need to protect our children even if the stbx S doesn't understand.

Search for "sunshine".

Jen

I hung with my next-door neighbors last night. They are a blast and such wonderful people, young retired grandparents. This weekend was their annual party with old friends. So it was me and 13 other people all much older than me. The age doesn't bother me, but the wisdom they have is obvious. These people love to have fun, live life and have gone through their ups and downs. One gentleman who was there I've met many times before. Said neighbors, G&R, have likened what H is doing to what "George" has done. Divorced his first wife, later regretted it, married again, divorced again. Still can't find his happiness. George and I spent a lot of time talking last night and I know if I was 15 years older, or if he was 20 years younger, he would have been hitting on me. Flattering a bit, but luckily too much space between us for that to cloud the picture.

George said that him divorcing his wife was flat out stupid. He was bored, looking for a reason for that and blamed his wife/married. As he gets older, he realized that he was the problem. He got married again, but that only lasted two years and they divorced because of his kids. They fought all the time about them and she finally gave him an ultimatum: her or the kids. Of course, he chose the kids. So now he's 60 and alone, just got a dog for companionship, looks for a partner all the while realizing that he let go the best thing he had and hurting his children forever because it never completely heals for them.

This morning when he left the neighbors, he told G&R that he wishes he could grab my H and tell him he's being stupid and making the mistake of his life.

And my H thinks that this divorce will be easy, everything will be wonderful afterwards and he'll never regret a thing. sigh