Hey Sara, just checking in before bed, sorry you had such a hard time with you H, I'm the same way, I don't want to be in the house with my W, I want her out as soon as I get home. She typically goes becasue she has had enough of the kids.
Wierd about your H wearing your shirts, very strange.
I hope you have a nice evening.
We all have a long haul ahead of us, good or bad it's the path we choose in life that's important.
M45 W41 M10 3/4 years D9, D6, D6, S5 OM confirmed 12/07 merry christmas to me WAM (Walk Away Mom) 05/31/08 Date I'll forgive W for A = never
Hey, maybe she should go to the flea market, and geta pink one that says "I Wear My Wife's T-Shirts; I'm Such a P*ssy" -- and then leave it in your old stack! LOL!!!
Hey, maybe she should go to the flea market, and geta pink one that says "I Wear My Wife's T-Shirts; I'm Such a P*ssy" -- and then leave it in your old stack! LOL!!!
I'm thinking along the same lines, not exactly, if those are shirts you wanted to get rid of maybe you should, and replace them with really pink, girly shirts or sexy ones that even your H would be too embarrassed to wear (I hope)!!! Karen
Well today I survived a big step. I attended a family gathering without my H for the 1st time. One of my cousin's was having a graduation party. I had already emailed my family that H and I are getting a divorce, so I didn't have to go through all of that. It was sad at first to be there without my H, and I was thinking at the last time we were at that park and how much fun it was. But once I got playing with the little kids in my family and blowing bubbles with them, I felt better. I sort of tried to stick with the kids because I knew they didn't care about my H issues. They just want to play with me and hug me. No one said anything to me, although you could TELL they wanted to, except for my Grandma. She said, "You better not let H lay claims on those quilts I made you." I told her I wouldn't. Although her quilts are the farthest thing from my mind. Obviously I will get the quilts. That isn't even an area of discussion. But I made it through alright.
Went shopping tonight at a store H and I used to go to a lot. I kept shaking off those flashbacks. I hope I am not the only one that gets those. You are at a certain place and suddenly you totally flashback to another time you were in that sad place with your spouse and you can recall what you were saying. It happens to me a lot. I have been working on just shaking those away. Did it at the store and again when I went to the snow cone stand uptown. H and I used to get snow cones in the summer frequently. But it is my goal to get my life back, right? So doing things that I like, even if I once did them with my H is all part of that.
It has been a rough weekend to say the least. Things can only get better, right? Tomorrow morning I am on the worship team (singing) at church! I am really excited about this and I should get to bed (err...couch). Goodnight.
Sara
Me-31 H-38 M: 5 yrs T: 7 yrs No kids Went to Prostitutes 10-1-06 Found out about OW 12-24-07 Bomb on EA/PA: 1-2-08 OW ended it with H "for good" 3-8-08 OW is back 4-19-08 H and OW tell me that they are in love 5-19-08 Filed for divorce 6-5-08 Divorced 7-2-08
Keep up the fight honey. It will get easier every day. My brother has been divorced for 2 years and he still gets those flashbacks in the grocery store so you are not weird at all by having them.
You are a valuable, attractive wonderful person that anyone would be lucky to have as a wife. You H is and idiot for not seeing this. You will be much better off no matter how this ends.
Eagle is right. Your H is not the partner for you right now. I hope you scared him right out of the house. Nothing wrong with a little rant/rave, it was coming from your heart. He has some more rude awakenings coming when he can no longer come and go from YOUR house soon.
Sara: except for my Grandma. She said, "You better not let H lay claims on those quilts I made you
I love it Grandma's always tell it as they see it, mine always did. I'm glad you had fun at the family reunion, I have one coming up in September. W only showed up once in the last 4 years so it won't be a big suprise if she isn't there. My sisters will be in my face asking me stuff, I'm fine, just want to be left alone and move on with my life.
We all have a long haul ahead of us, good or bad it's the path we choose in life that's important.
M45 W41 M10 3/4 years D9, D6, D6, S5 OM confirmed 12/07 merry christmas to me WAM (Walk Away Mom) 05/31/08 Date I'll forgive W for A = never
hey toots, hugs))))))))))) what a shame you can't change of drs, ish! if any dr looks at me cockeyed I'm out of there (we have as many drs as wildflowers in my area). Love your grandma, lol, it's funny what they are worried about.
Hope you have a blast in Disney! and if you can, just try not to be home, not worth being near him, I can imagen how hard it must be, I'm counting the days 'til stbx has his own place and stops coming over to my house to watch the kids while I work.
I think he is just being a lazy bumb by wearing your shirts, just get a lock and put them away elsewhere, what a looser.
I try not to go (at least for now) to the same places him and I would go, I eat elsewhere, shop elsewhere and try to make new memories with the kids. This is all too recent honey, so it is bound to be very hard for the first few months (I thought I got over the fact that stbx is back with ow, but seeing her parking permit on his car this am hurt).
My prayers your hon, you will be stronger and healthier and happier))))))))))))
Last edited by cat03; 06/23/0803:28 PM.
Be not afraid...I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten Joel2
30something 2kids survivor of S, MLC, A, D I have peace in my heart, at last.
Things have been hectic lately and I haven't had a chance to get over here.
I had a very decent conversation with H on Monday. We talked about how we were going to split up things and I don't know it was just a decent conversation between 2 adults.
All of that changed yesterday. We had a verbal agreement that he wouldn't be in the house of an evening and then I would leave at 10pm for him to sleep at the house. Well....my parents and I were out buying me a new bed and my Dad dropped me off at home. H's car is in the driveway (it was around 6:30pm). Dad comes into the house with me and says some unkind things to H. H calls the cops. He will not leave the house because he needed to study and has "sacrificed" enough already. I stay at the house because I had laundry to do among other things. H and I have this awful conversation. He tells me that because I am telling everyone about what he did, I am "defacing his character" and I have "no right to do that. It is just as bad as what I have done." "Two wrongs don't make a right." Honestly, is it bad that I am telling anyone who asks that my H cheated on me and wants to be with the other woman and he won't leave the house? Don't I have the right to say that? He also told me that I am ugly, he has no love for me, he doesn't care anything about me and he is taking advantage of me. It hurts.
I showed him the list of the things we are splitting up and he said he was going to make a lot of changes to it. He also said that he doesn't have to sign the settlement if he doesn't want to. And that if I get an order of protection against him, he will get one against me.
I hate how he takes advantage of this whole situation. Won't leave the house because he doesn't have to, eats my food, makes expensive calls and won't pay me for them, wears my clothes, uses my soap and detergent. I am taking food out of the house.
Here is my latest predicament. I am going on vacation to Disney for 2 weeks and leaving on Wednesday. I have planned to stop the mail for that time. I told H about this a month ago and told him to get a PO Box. He didn't do that. He says it is illegal for me to stop him from getting his mail and I am evil for doing this. What should I do?
He also says I am evil for moving all of his things out of the house and putting them in the garage. I am doing this because I know that he won't. Plus I just want everything that reminds me of him out of my sight. It is totally within my legal rights to move his belonging to the garage, which is still on the property. Just like it is totally within his legal rights to come and go in and out of the house (that he has never paid a dime for) as he pleases.
I am just really upset. I want this whole mess to end.
Sara
Me-31 H-38 M: 5 yrs T: 7 yrs No kids Went to Prostitutes 10-1-06 Found out about OW 12-24-07 Bomb on EA/PA: 1-2-08 OW ended it with H "for good" 3-8-08 OW is back 4-19-08 H and OW tell me that they are in love 5-19-08 Filed for divorce 6-5-08 Divorced 7-2-08
Karen
, I do too, mine is going to drag out for several 6-9 months before I get to move on with my life.