Loved reading about your new job! I love reading about your GAL adventures - they make me smile.
Quote:
The C thought that I have a habit of falling into relationships with people who are emotionally unavailable (EX, CG) because of the relationship w/ my mom. Of course I made the mistake of calling my mom "emotionally unavailable" to my sister, which sparked a whole meaningless debate w/ her about what exactly is the problem with Mom and Me. I tried to get out of it, knew it was a mistake the minute I opened my mouth, I just had mentioned it in reference to my patterns of behavior, and it really had nothing to do with mom, but oh well.
I can relate. My siblings and I are in the middle of a temporary R hiatus. Everytime I open my mouth about any impact my R with my mother had on me and/or have a disagreement with my mother and well my siblings and I go on a R hiatus! And my mother shakes her head and is very disappointed in me (and my siblings) - b/c well that turns into she is a failure as a mother b/c her children fight. LOL! And then she says it causes her anxiety attacks and headaches and then it affects her health.
It use to bother me at one time. I recognize the pattern now and know that it will "pass" with time and we will resume diplomtic relations w/o any discussion of what happened or why we are talking again.
The only chanage I have made is that I detach and just move away from it all for awhile till it blows over. In the past I use to get upset and escalate the situation. I no longer try to work through it b/c there is no point.
And yes, my R with my mother has affected my R choices in life. I hope I have changed myself enough to attract people into my life that I can take emotional risks with and that care enough to work through these issues with me - instead of the elephant in the living room approach. But my upbringing in deeply ingrained in me - it is a challenge. Constructive confrontation is really hard.
