Get Out the Map (8)

[gForce]

I agree prob. a lot of us may not have nurtured our R's as much as we should have, but I think every marriage is going to have tough times or times where you're busy or don't pay as much attention as you should, or you're depressed (like I was) or sick, or whatever. And when you're married you don't or shouldn't find an OP and just bail on the marriage. Because I think every marriage goes through patches like that. I used to take 50/50 blame with our marriage blowing up, or maybe even more than that, but I'm not so sure anymore about that...Karen

Karen, I couldn't agree more. And sometimes people do everything as right as possible, yet the WAS still bails. But for me, at this point, it is not a matter of assigning relative blame (I know that's not what you meant) -- but rather identifying my part, and trying to fix it so it doesn't affect my future R's.

My first M was so awful, I thought all I had to do was find someone better and everything would be great. Then when I did, I went into cruise control. I think that might be one factor why second M's are more likely to fail than the 1st -- That many just think it is a matter of finding the right person, a better person. Boy did I learn the hard way.