The movie was ridiculously fun. The spaceship was too much. When did he become a spy fighting the KGB? Too funny.
My DB gals, I'm so fortunate to know you all. Thanks for the encouragement. I know my future will include someone that deserves what I have to give. And that I will strive to deserve what she has to give. Right now that person is not W. My sadness is the loss for what she was (or what I mistakenly thought she was). That we are not fighting and that she is not hateful towards me (like some of your WAS's are), is a blessing but also sometimes gives the illusion she is still in there somewhere. I told her yesterday at one point -- Moving/leaving is a hard decision for me, but you know how I feel, how I want things to be. If it can't be, then it is the best decision for me.
I have given her many pauses. She has the rope. What she does with it is up to her. I'm looking forward, not backwards.
Me45 W35 M6 T8 D16 SD11 D0 Dec 07: Bomb July 08: Busted! Thread
My sadness is the loss for what she was (or what I mistakenly thought she was). That we are not fighting and that she is not hateful towards me (like some of your WAS's are), is a blessing but also sometimes gives the illusion she is still in there somewhere.
hey g - i know how you feel. In many ways it sounds like we continue to be in the same place with our Ws. It's really hard to let go of that illusion.
I was hyper-critical of other people, of W, of SD8; I've stopped
My demeanor was down, depressed; I am much more positive in my outlook
I was withdrawn and uncommunicative -- I make an effort to clearly express my feelings to W
I know that this has made a big impact on my ability to move forward and a big impact on how I interact with people. W notices and appreciates it. However, she tells me she is afraid it won't stick. I don't think of this as the old/new me. I think these two sides of me have always been a part of me, and always will. The difference is choosing which aspect of ourselves we like and will accentuate, and which are destructive and need to be suppressed. I think if we don't realize this, the default seems to be the path of least resistance -- which tends to be destructive. I don't know why that is, but the constructive side of us seems to take more work, requires us to be self-aware. That's really the biggest change in me as a result of this whole crappy deal -- achieving that awareness and realizing that it takes work, constantly, or else we regress.
Me45 W35 M6 T8 D16 SD11 D0 Dec 07: Bomb July 08: Busted! Thread
Yes, I have come a long way, other relevant points on lodo's thread. I won't repeat here. But I feel like if W would just wake the frak up, and work with me, our M could be better than ever. But it will help me do better to sustain/strengthen my R's in the future.
I got your alleged email, T. I will pretend to let you know my plans as they become clearer. I am glad you sound better today.
Me45 W35 M6 T8 D16 SD11 D0 Dec 07: Bomb July 08: Busted! Thread
BSG! I actually like the way they tweaked one of the worst profanities into something they can say on TV. Now if only they could figure out a way for Hellboy to guest star...
Me45 W35 M6 T8 D16 SD11 D0 Dec 07: Bomb July 08: Busted! Thread
BSG! I actually like the way they tweaked one of the worst profanities into something they can say on TV. Now if only they could figure out a way for Hellboy to guest star...
LOL, you crack me up.
On a serious note, your 180's sound like you've really made some great changes. I hope your W notices in time. Even if she doesn't, keep up the good work for you. There are some fabulous women out there who do notice, & can appreciate a "new & improved" DAM.
M 19 years, MC for 8 months, DB'd for 8 months 4 kids; 18, 15, 14, & 10 I was never meant to be a doormat. It took me years of therapy to become assertive enough to stop his abuse.
