another date set today!

[jandn]

Update--Where to start. So all day I am thinking about this "buying me out" thing. Thinking how would be nice to get with W soon and get it figured out. Well, I was at the race track an hour away from here and drove my friend and his better half. Im sitting there feeling lonely, not hurting or anything just thinking about the W. So theres some dead time I start making a text to W but not going to send it about missing her and the family and asking for forgiveness and this marriage is worth fixing. Had no intentions of sending it.

Half an hour I feel my phone vibrate. Pull it out, says MY WAW text msg. (I change her name often). Im like man, wonder what this is going to be like. Yes, me and W are going to have a good textasation back and forth. What happened to the "plz dont text me anymore"(talk about mood swings!) It says

W-Whats up
I reply very promptly with "Huh?" then "DD 2nite"
W=Thats nice of u, Id like to talk soon.:-)
M-Yes was think n that myself today, so how bout tomorrow evening sometime?
W-Well weve got my brothers bday tomorrow evening or else that would be good. Too bad ur busy tonight

This was a lil before 10pm
I didnt reply to that so 5 minutes goes by and

W-Alright well I wont keep ya-maybe tues then. Be safe.
M-You aint keeping me, will be done in about an hour and half or before, prob is too late
M-What about in the afternoon tomorrow
W-(ten minutes later) Yeah I think Ill be asleep by then. Were meeting at 3 tomorrow, then coming her later for cake. We wont be out of church till 1230. Its ok, well figure someting

I didnt respond but started a reply so 20 minutes later

W-U can call if not too late
M-Im available between those hrs, churh is 930 to 12. (that what my reply was going to be for hers and was thinking about not sending it, but then got this one so added this to it) How late is 2 late?
W-I dont know-next hr or so.

45 minutes late (1115pm), i felt I should at least give courtesy about how Im not going to call. So I send her

M-Its too late now, to late later, dont want to keep you up. may be tomorrow? Goodnite (her name):)

Then I thought for it for a few minutes, and was like screw it,

M-Actually can call now if you arent in bed.
W-ok

Man when W said she wanted to talk, I was like maybe she is going to want me to come over tonight or something or like she did in the summer time when she cried wolf about either come home to us now or you might not get another chance. But I knew it would probably be about the D.

So it went pretty good. Took a few minutes to find out why we wanted to talk to each other. W made it seemed like I wanted to talk since I mentioned the "id been thinking about that too today" and was trying to probe what I wanted to talk about so said something about the whole buying you out and what are the things you wanted to talk about.

We did have some good small talk after the first few minutes. No voices got raised. There was one time when she tried to cut me off and said hey, let me finish please. But no one got pissy with each other, amazing! And even one time W said "i miss talking to you sometimes" and didnt have a response. I thought, man I really never listened to W like I should have and she knows that, how does she really miss that cause she used to complain about that all the time.

Did get to explain the church thing to here like I wanted to earlier when we were together. So felt really good about getting that out there and clearing it up about how on Tues I go to that support group at a church far away, then on Weds go to bible study for and hour, then Sunday school before mass. W made the comment "you were never really into church with me". I said yes, something has lead me there and that is the only way I am going to make it through this time in need. W did ask, you going tomorrow, or do you just go with the kids. Said yes, I am going.

W talked about if I still wanted to meet up with her. Said she would really like to get some of her things, but would like to go to lunch. Also said, "I dont have to go to church, just the kids can go" I responded with, no you should go, you will feel better. Now I am thinking about in the morning early, sending a text to come to this church with me to get W opinion on it. Maybe she will bring the kids or whatever, but was going to see what I get on it.

I mean this all sounds positive, but we did talk about what needs to be settled on, mainly buying her out and we need to come up with a parenting plan, which she suggested mediation. Then got onto the holidays and how we would work them. W is worried about Halloween with them. I said well one year for you, the next me, this and that. I said that is just the way its going to be, this is what we got ourselves into. I did make the comment early on about "well, you know how I want the outcome of all of this, but if you want me to let you go, I cant stand in your way". So I was just nice and try to be friendly with her.

So, now I need to be strong and stick to my guns tomorrow for my next appearance. Hopefully I got W not able to sleep tonight thinking how she is going to miss me and the family. W did make comment "i noticed you still have your goatee, is that you now" Said actually I am going to get rid of it soon (probably shouldnt have said that but I did). Well its going to be pale there. I said, nah, it will blend in soon enough.

I probably have forgot some things and this is really long, and its late, but man I think praying has worked. Have some good feelings, but then have some weird feelings about W and her continued devotion to push through with this. Well, hopefully I get some responses and encouragement.