random Dommage

[Dom R]

Today... is the 2 year anniversary of the day she moved out.

I called her tonight, and talked a little about how devastated I was. How I almost died... how I wanted to die, and almost did (self-starvation).
Some people "lose their appetite" when the leaving spouse reveals their affair, and goes.
I didnt eat at all.

unfortunately, I was a little too pointed to her taste, about saying that it was as a result of her choice to move out, and that it was her choice to break up our family.

She has rarely accepted responsability for her choices. This choice, or any other.
She always wants to make our separation/divorce filing a joint responsability (or, really, a MY responsability thing, if i'll let her lay it on me).

I'm always willing to admit that I made mistakes in our marriage. and that my behaviour was not comfortable for her, and "painful".
It's 'interesting' though, that she is never willing to admit and accept responsability, that the reason i was acting extreme in those last few months, was because of her choice to be dating other men.

bah.
it wasnt my intention to be arguing about that. Particularly since I already know she wont admit responsability for her own choices. But it mostly ended up as an argument about that.

sucky timing. right on the day we get back, from a nice vacation together. I would have preffered to bring it up another day. But it just wouldnt have seemed right... something like this, i think needs to be done on "the day".

So... one way or another, i have mentioned that to her. Something that I have been meaning to mention to her, and now has been "done".