ms ladybug SQUISHED (2)

[Dom R]

I'm back from vacation!

yes, i was nagging... and i'm glad it finally had positive effect

been catching up. it wasnt clear to me, if you put in the "i dont expect you to respond" stuff. I think that would have been a mistake to keep it in,. you want him to say SOMETHING?

E-mail sent!
I'm nervous, but relieved. Dom was right (again).

ooo... i need to frame that or something..


i'm going to make some retroactive comments... not to be harsh on you, but in the spirit of "lets review what was done, and maybe think of better ways to do it, if there is a next time.

I think that your email was quite a nice thing to write. It just wasnt as good as it could have been.

The book suggests (in the SECOND half... did you get to it? that sometimes, it is important to actually ask for forgiveness, over just "offering an apology".
Your letter was generally really great, I think... except that it only "offered an apology". it did not actually ask for forgiveness, and in some ways, used false modesty to avoid getting forgiveness.

I say "false modesty", because you wrote ".... even if it's not in you to forgive me"... but nowhere did you actually ASK to be forgiven?


I think by writing what you wrote in your email, you came a long way from where you were before you wrote it. But you didnt go "all the way". You didnt actually "ask for forgiveness".

I think that you may be the kind of person who wont directly "ask for forgiveness", because you feel that is displaying weakness in yourself, and you dont want to do that.

Which is exactly why you need to do it
I think your husband already knows this about you pretty well.... (that you dont ask for forgiveness, because you dont want to "seem weak". Your pride thing.)

There is also the issue of apologising in person, vs doing it in writing.
It's MORE DIFFICULT to apologise in person. It takes more courage. It makes a person feel more weak to do it in person, than in writing. Am I right?

Sooo... the next time you think he's about ready to "come a callin' round your door"... you might gently ask him about his opinion, face-to-face, on what you wrote, if he hasnt brought it up already.

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for what it's worth, i'm going to post a little update about my own run-in with that stuff, on "my thread".
However, my situation is very, VERY different from yours.

Your husband wants you to ask for forgiveness from him.

My wife, I think has long since chosen to stop caring about that.