Real life is----part 5

[Starshyne]

Well today I survived a big step. I attended a family gathering without my H for the 1st time. One of my cousin's was having a graduation party. I had already emailed my family that H and I are getting a divorce, so I didn't have to go through all of that. It was sad at first to be there without my H, and I was thinking at the last time we were at that park and how much fun it was. But once I got playing with the little kids in my family and blowing bubbles with them, I felt better. I sort of tried to stick with the kids because I knew they didn't care about my H issues. They just want to play with me and hug me. No one said anything to me, although you could TELL they wanted to, except for my Grandma. She said, "You better not let H lay claims on those quilts I made you." I told her I wouldn't. Although her quilts are the farthest thing from my mind. Obviously I will get the quilts. That isn't even an area of discussion. But I made it through alright.

Went shopping tonight at a store H and I used to go to a lot. I kept shaking off those flashbacks. I hope I am not the only one that gets those. You are at a certain place and suddenly you totally flashback to another time you were in that sad place with your spouse and you can recall what you were saying. It happens to me a lot. I have been working on just shaking those away. Did it at the store and again when I went to the snow cone stand uptown. H and I used to get snow cones in the summer frequently. But it is my goal to get my life back, right? So doing things that I like, even if I once did them with my H is all part of that.

It has been a rough weekend to say the least. Things can only get better, right? Tomorrow morning I am on the worship team (singing) at church! I am really excited about this and I should get to bed (err...couch). Goodnight.

Sara