The Ultimatum

[fooled again]

Here's an update:

Today H gave me his notice ltr w/ both his signature and the property manager's in ink. When he gets the confirmation ltr back on July 1, he will give it to me. At this point I have to say that H has fulfilled my first condition.

It's possible that he faked the letter & forged a signature - just the sort of thing an MLCer would do. But why? I'd find out & then it would be over b/w us & there will no more chances. I said to myself that by the end of July, I will KNOW for sure - I've waited two years, I can wait another month. Maybe if I just let things go again, if I didn't continue to make it crystal clear that my conditions are non-negotiable, it might be possible for H to go back to OW - we are talking about an addiction. But I intend to set H up for success, not for failure, as my coach suggested, so I am being loving but firm, supportive but not a doormat. He must fulfill all my conditions.

H did tell me that he would tell D next week that he's moving back home, when he gets back from his business trip. I believe H would not lie to D about this, as it truly would break her heart, so when he tells D, I will know he is really coming home.

And for the first time in ages, H has forwarded to me the actual email from his travel agent w/ his flight and hotel info. When H calls me to talk b/f bed, I will call him back in his hotel room to be sure that he is actually there.

As for my other conditions, transparency is obviously a work in progress, as is H getting control of his finances. The mtg w/ OW to give back her stuff and tell her "no contact ever again" is also going to happen very soon. I will not let H move back until the mtg has taken place.

So although I am nervous, especially w/ H is going away for 5 days, I am relying on my own strength to reassure me that I'm doing everything I can. Ultimately the choice is up to H, but no matter what, I know I'll be okay

FA