like a BB in a boxcar.....

[hoosiermama]

I hear what you're saying, and I do know guys who fit that picture. But for H, he was in seminary--then monastery--because he was "special" and deserving of all the attention priesthood offered. Spirituality and service were never a part of it for him--still aren't. He never expressed any guilt for leaving, but did have a lot of anger that less gifted men (even a few outright wacky ones) got to do what he wasn't allowed to do. He never worked through that, really, and remains very angry at the Catholic church. I remember telling him that he needed to resolve that before entering the episcopal process, but it just made him angry. Over the past few years H was angry with me at times because I didn't feel the need to change denominations--poor boundaries. A couple weeks back he was mocking me about something I was doing--"isn't that against your religion?"

He'll have little guilt about remarrying--he's always had far too much sense of entitlement to feel guilty about anything. What he could learn from all of this--if he's open to doing so--is that his actions can cause tremendous pain to those who love him, and that the world doesn't revolve around him. He could actually grow up. But it will take a long time, and he'll have to make some hard choices--and I'm not sure he has it in him.