Had a dream this morning, I was changing some songs around on my playlist that has been dedicated to xf since we had been together. S9 wanted to play and get involved(clearly wanting attention) I snapped at him. In my ear I heard very snotty, yeah, we know what you have been doing with your instinct..... The last piece of a puzzel maybe? I don't know. But what I do know is that I have been putting so much energy into researching, and getting advice, and talking about XF that I have been neglecting other parts of my life. Again, say what you will but we were a family, and it is a family that we will be again. I have a strong faith and instinct about this, but for whatever reason it hasn't been enough for me. My own doubts have been killing me. It is time to be me. She'll be back, I guess I just need to stop worrying and go with my faith. I need to go back to being the man that God made me to be. Stop living for answers and start living for my family..... No matter the condition of it right now. At this point, this could be more about me learning, than her. Anger and manipulation can't go on for ever. Maybe I need to be ready before things can go on. I am a good man and she a good woman, we both and especially the 3 boys deserve what each other has to offer.
Last edited by phoenyx; 06/21/0808:14 PM.
I don't care what you think, as long as it's about me.
i think that xf may be bipolar, i know she is on meds for ocd and depression, she recently went to third shift and started chantix. both bad things for bi-polar people, and chantix is bad news for people on meds period. but she definately fits the personality. hmmm, a lot to think about. thoughts, questions, comments?
Last edited by phoenyx; 06/22/0812:45 AM.
I don't care what you think, as long as it's about me.
been doing okay... yesterday i gave exsts 14 a ride home instead of letting him walk almost 10 miles after lifting weights. he walked out of his way to walk past my house, i know he wanted the ride. xw text me telling me that i need to stop offering him rides and she will take out a restraining order if she has to. ugh, i just replied okay.
pray for famine? just found out that xf called in sic 9 or 10 days in a row then quit her job. she has 13 years in. we had planned on her quitting and going to school. i suppose that she has enough in her retirement to cover stuff for a while, but as far as insurance(her and sons meds) go, the only way she will be able to cover that is is she marries new dude. i stll have a stron faith that she is on her way back. i know that it makes me sound crazy, but i don't care. i am however concerned abuot her in the meantime, so please pray for her.
I don't care what you think, as long as it's about me.
leave work, she xw left a text saying to meet at work. i was in a hurry this morning and didn't want the boys to have to wake up and drive 50 miles so i text back, how far are you? ignored, 5 min later i send: i'm in a hurry, i'm leaving, pick a gas station(i have waited 25 minutes before at a gas station 5 minutes from work). she calls, i'm pleasant her: i'm not going to text while the kids are in the car, we are almost there me: k well i am at the corner of north and sherman, i'll wait her:(yelling) JUST GO BACK TO WORK!!! click i drove back and called her to leave a voicemail
i am back at work only because the boys with you and i don't want them to have to wittness your behavior. you are not allowed to tell me what to do and it will stop. we will meet from now on at (gas station). if that doesn't work for you then we will have to discuss it.
so they get there, i get the boys and s4 says i thought you worked at a gas station, she says no i work here that is just where we met, as she was walking away. he didn't hear her and asked what a couple of times, then asked me what she said. i said no that is just where we are suppose to meet.
maybe a little smart @$$, but whatever at this point. between the ride home with xstep son, what i found out last night about xf, my mom, and this garbage with xw. my patience is wearing thin. and when i look at that last line 3 out of the 4 are based out of xw's anger/hatred/mental illness
nice
I don't care what you think, as long as it's about me.
xw called this morning to complain about my voicemail. we ended up getting into it and i kind of snapped, telling her that i only wanted to talk to her about the kids, i was tired of her lies and how they impacted my life and that it would stop. a story that she fabricated was brought up and she offered to call the dude involved, he got on the phone and she changed her story to closer to the truth and i was shocked, it was totally different than when she said something about it weeks ago. then after he got off the phone she was like there.... i said there what, that wasn't what you said, she called me a liar and hung up. then i got an email exchange for ya
her: Please do not speak to me unless it regards the children. Do not expect me to text message or talk on the phone when I am trying to drive with my children in the car. Please do not accuse me of lying when I am only reporting to you what I have been told. I do not talk about you. I have a life of my own that I converse with others about. I am again putting you on notice to not speak to me unless it is regards to my children. I am also putting it in writing as a notice to not offer (full name of xsts14) rides anymore or we will need to pursue a restraining order. There is no need to respond to this email, as it is a notice only.
me: Please do not speak to me unless it regards the children. Do not expect me to text message or talk on the phone when I am trying to drive with my children in the car. Please do not accuse me of lying when I am only reporting to you what I have been told. I do not talk about you. I have a life of my own that I converse with others about.
I am putting you on notice to not speak to me unless it is regards to my children. I am also putting it in writing as a notice to not speak to me or anyone else accusing me of sexually violating you while you were on ambien in 2005. Despite the fact that I have an attached copy of an email from May 5 2006 where I clearly express that the only time anything ever happened was the first time you took it years before, I gave you the benefit of the doubt that you actually believed that something happened in 2005. I now will be forced to think that anytime you bring it up it will to be maliciously hurt my character or to manipulate me into giving you your way and I will be forced to pursue legal action.
There is no need to respond to this email, as it is a notice only. (I attached said exchange, which I am sure you can find in my archives)
her: Despite what you may believe, I do not talk to people about that incident (other than best friend) because I find it to be sad and sick. I have not mentioned this incident to you since the huge discussion about it a few weeks ago...yet you decided that you wanted to bring it up again today. Remember...I have not brought it up, you have. Again, you need only talk to me about the children. I cannot stress that enough. Thank you, First an Last name
me: Again, I can only go on what I am told or what I see. Please keep the subject to the children. Thank you
so there it is, hopefully the end of this all thoughts, questions, comments?
I don't care what you think, as long as it's about me.
