Hi, I'm new to the forum.

[The Wifey]

Thank you, I need to believe I will be successful. I am working on the stability. That is what I need to focus on. Unfortunately, when he came back we had only a little while. He said he would come back tomorrow to mow the lawn. I said I might not be here because I planned to go to my mothers and probably for a motorcycle ride with my brother in law.

That is one thing we've conflicted on. I'd had a motorcycle accident at the age of 13 and broke my leg in 3 places. I've been afraid to go. I had asked him to take me for a motorcycle ride, that I was more afraid of losing him than riding the motorcycle. He even bought me a helmet in hopes of me riding some day. But he said I made "a face" when he suggested a trial ride through the park. I never said no. But, from whatever my face must have looked like, he decided it just wouldn't work.

I guess I shouldn't have mentioned the planned ride tomorrow. But, I didn't think he'd get mad. He said "you were worried about me giving someone else a ride, but its ok to go ride with your BIL." I said, "I didn't want you to give anyone else a ride because I was afraid there was an OW. I don't think you have the same concern with me with my BIL. You said you wouldn't take me for a ride, and I just have to see if I can do it." He said I was wrong, that I'd said no to going for a ride and made "the face."

Then he said he was leaving and I said fine, see you later and he left.

I didn't run after him and just let him go, which is an improvement over where I've been. I guess I should have just not said anything. I should have left it at I am visiting my mom and left out about the ride. What's done is done and I am still going to go. I really, really want to do this to prove I can.

I guess I hope some day that I can share the motorcycle with him. Not sure if he'll carry a grudge about this, though. He tends to make a list of all my faults that come back at me when he gets mad.

One day at a time. I have to prepare for an exam for a class I am taking. I will try, try not to focus on this all night - it will be hard!