Hello Sara. I didn't think your statement was stupid. I truly believed my husband was one of the few men I've ever known who would honor his commitments. In his mind, he has. He will not try to understand why his relationship with "her" is something that threatens our marriage. Something has happened during the course of the past four years. I may be very difficult to live with and love on a daily basis. Only he knows the answers, but he doesn't feel obligated to share them with me.
Our wedding was not an extravagent affair. We were only engaged for a month and had a tiny ceremony and no reception. A year later we had a lovely reception in Malaysia, where his family lives. I never dreamed of a big wedding, being the center of attention. That is not my style. Sometimes I wonder if we married for the same reasons. I wonder if I was afraid of losing him if I didn't accept his proposal right away. I told him I wasn't ready, that I needed to work on myself a little... could we wait six months? He said we could, but he would have to return home to Malaysia. I felt a little pressured because he was our company's "savior". Recently I asked if he married me for citizenship and he said it was extremely insulting to suggest such a thing. Our love story isn't the romantic ideal, but we had a very strong connection and we were best friends for many years.
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I just returned from my painting class. My husband is working Saturdays to finish his project. He forgot his cell phone on the kitchen counter. It just rang. I'll let you guess who was calling. I cannot control what they do. I can only control my reactions. I used to admire my husband more than anyone, he is losing my respect.
On a positive note, I really love the way my new painting is coming along. It's a still life and it's so much more fun than my first painting, which I'm still unsatisfied with, but trying to fix.
I'm going to do some housework and enjoy the rest of my Saturday.
M: 37 H: 36 Married: Aug 13, 2004 Decision to Divorce: July 20, 2008 Reconciled: September 2008 Current: Ambivalence
"Love is a snowmobile racing across the tundra and then suddenly it flips over, pinning you underneath. At night, the ice weasels come." - Matt Groening
You totally get my demented sense of humor. =)
Originally Posted By: lodo
And DO take me up on the visit, and there is no alleged about this raft trip!
You got it and wink wink!
Oh, and little g big F, let's refer to it as 'the site we do not speak of.' ;-)
Last edited by girlfromipanema; 06/21/0809:37 PM.
M: 37 H: 36 Married: Aug 13, 2004 Decision to Divorce: July 20, 2008 Reconciled: September 2008 Current: Ambivalence
I am so tired. I don't want to be consumed by this anymore.
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I sound really disgusting and pathetic right now. I'll get myself turned around by morning. I knew it was a bad idea to return the call tonight. I must remember to trust my gut.
Hi Sweetie, how you doing today ? You could NEVER be disgusting & pathetic ever. Cross those off the things that you think of yourself. Promise ???? xoxo
M 19 years, MC for 8 months, DB'd for 8 months 4 kids; 18, 15, 14, & 10 I was never meant to be a doormat. It took me years of therapy to become assertive enough to stop his abuse.
Would it be immature and childish if I threw his phone in the river???????????????????????
Well, the river might be a stretch, but I could see how a phone might fall in a toilet......LOL
M 19 years, MC for 8 months, DB'd for 8 months 4 kids; 18, 15, 14, & 10 I was never meant to be a doormat. It took me years of therapy to become assertive enough to stop his abuse.
Be strong. Be good to yourself. I'm still new at the whole LBS thing, but I know I have to go on. I'm praying for you to have strength.
Me 45, H 46, S 23, M 26, Together 30, Bomb 6-2-08, S 6-19-08; H left 12-29-08. H home 12-09, Still MLC in 2012! Me- I have my big girl panties on. Bring it.
Well, the river might be a stretch, but I could see how a phone might fall in a toilet......LOL
You must be telepathic, cookie. That most definitely crossed my mind.
My delima now, is if he asks me if I looked at his phone. He asked me once to look him in the eye and tell him whether I looked at his phone or not and I couldn't lie to him. Maybe I can evade the question with, "are you worried I'd see something you don't want me to see?" Maybe I'll just be gone when he gets home.
M: 37 H: 36 Married: Aug 13, 2004 Decision to Divorce: July 20, 2008 Reconciled: September 2008 Current: Ambivalence
GFI give the damn phone to the ice weasels, LOL! I would tell H the truth. It rang, I looked to see who it was, I didn't answer it...the end. You know you don't have to "submerge" it in water for it not to work properly, you could always put cough syrup on the contacts, not that I would ever advocate that. If I could get H's phone I would totally look at it, I freely admit it. He must know that too because they are going to have to pry it out of his cold, dead fingers. I lovingly refer to it as "the crackpipe"...he just doesn't think I'm funny.
He must not be overly concerned about it if he left it behind.
You ARE NOT PATHETIC or DISGUSTING so stop saying or thinking that RIGHT NOW! This is not about you, I know its hard to believe, but its about H's shortcomings or whatever, not about you not being good enough. Glad to hear the new painting is coming along good. Hows OM? Keep your head up and you could always come home for a night and we could go out...I have Strawberry Hill!!!!!
M:39 H:39 K:S14;D8 T:22yr M:15yrs S:12/28/07 EA/PA 3/14/08 OW preg 11/17/08 born 12/12/08 his ~~~~~~~ Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option
