I can completely relate to the urge of wanting to snoop. I have been a snooper in the past - it is hard not to fall back into that trap. However, you are right, it always makes me feel awful afterwards - and not because of the privacy issue either. What makes me feel bad is that I feel the need to snoop because my W's actions have caused me to lose trust in her. If she wasn't violating the trust I had placed in her then I wouldn't need to snoop. Unfortunately most of the times I have succumbed to the temptation to snoop I have found out things that caused intense hurt and pain for me and our R.
You do need to continue to GALing, right now it is the thing that provides me the most peace and sanity. Keeps my mind off of the bad and makes me feel good about myself.
In my situation, my W has been deployed for 8 months now so we have not been living together for a while. The first 5 months of the separation we were fine, it has only been the last 2 or 3 months since she dropped a bomb on me that we have been in this mess. However, this morning I woke up and thought, if I could just continue living here with my girls and never saw her again that would be fine - I could make it. I just know that when I see her in a month (she is coming home to help move across country) all these feelings are going surface and I will be have a much harder time GALing and not wanting to R talk. But I have a month to prepare myself and make sure that I stick to my guns. It is the uncertainty of everything that bothers me, I'd just much rather know right now - one way or the other - as to how all of this is going to turn out.
Hopoe you had a good time at the gym. Need to go myself.
