I watered and deadheaded yesterday too, but no thunderstorms here
Yeah, that IS weird what CJ told you! Has anything like that ever happened to you before when you have taken a sleeping pill?
I have been having a day or two of post-affair blues. I have no idea what is triggering it, but lots of tapes replaying in my head of all the lies. I just have to ride the wave when it comes up and know that the sea will calm again.
I'm starting to have a little bit of anxiety coming up as H's move back in date gets closer. One of the things that keeps coming up is how freaked out I will get about computer use. H has had any computer time since moving out. I don't know why the computer is such a big thing for me. His cell phone was just as much a tool for betrayal as the computer was--and he's still working with XOW so I don't know what my problem is about it. I guess finding all of those offline instant messages from XOW didn't help, but so many times I remember waking up in the middle of the night--H not in bed and is downstairs on the computer--how that made me feel.
H now knows that the computer was no where near as "private" as he thought it was after I told him that if I had wanted, I could have silently sent an undetectable program to OW's computer that would send me back a screenshot of everything she did & log every keystroke.
I'm hesitant to ask you, because I don't want to reopen any hurtful places for you, but you have been very up front about your sitch so far. How did you and CJ deal with computer usage as it had been the major communication with XOW? Did you talk about the issue? Did you guys agree to any boundaries?
Who knew when the internet, cell phones and pagers become part of our lives that they would play such a factor in so many M's!
