Amen to that! I'd add to that: "But I want to be able to seen as innocent because we all know we can't control that unpredictable, magical "falling/being in love" feeling. It just happens."
Yep! My H said the same thing to me "It just happened" like carrying on an EA for a year or longer just suddenly happened or something and then going into a PA. My ? is do they actually even believe that themselves, maybe they do so they don't have to feel guilty or as guilty? They had no control over anything that happens, so why blame them??? Karen