Back to square one

[Hope4us]

OM will replace you much more quickly and easily than your H. Just because someone doesn't express feelings easily in words or even actions doesn't mean deep feelings aren't there. Even if your H is unhappy and has gone through a lot of pain in the marriage, that doesn't mean he doesn't have valuable history and memories with you that will have a lifetime of importance to him. Children are a binder.... I hate to say this but to OM you are most likely just a blip on his timeline.

If you died tomorrow chances are the one who will miss you most, and who will grieve most, and hold you closest in his memory.... your H.

This is very true. In my sitch, there's pretty strong evidence that the OM found a new GF when he moved away from our town but he continued to play WW when he could arrange it or when she'd take off and drive to see him. One weekend OM told WW he was going home to talk to his wife about divorce and then he'd let WW know when to proceed with filing for divorce so they could be together. WW texted him on that Saturday asking him if he'd talked to his wife and he told her that she and his kids had went out to dinner without him so he didn't get a chance. He even texted WW on a Sunday evening telling her he was just getting back into town. But....I found out the next week when I exposed to OMW that he wasn't even home the weekend before. Of course I told WW this, but she doesn't believe me because "OM would never lie to me"! Ummmm...let's see, he has no problem lying to HIS wife, why would you think he won't lie to his mistress?

Sorry for the mini-TJ, but I just wanted to illustrate how OP's are experts at what makes THEM happy. If it's not you, the next one comes along pretty quickly. Sometimes while you're still involved with the OP. Think of things like that when you have visions of how wonderful OM makes you feel. Because that's the draw of an affair. It's most likely not that you "love" OM, it's how OM makes YOU feel.