One more thing before I go to sleep... you probably know all this stuff already. You are wise in spite of confusion...
OM will replace you much more quickly and easily than your H. Just because someone doesn't express feelings easily in words or even actions doesn't mean deep feelings aren't there. Even if your H is unhappy and has gone through a lot of pain in the marriage, that doesn't mean he doesn't have valuable history and memories with you that will have a lifetime of importance to him. Children are a binder.... I hate to say this but to OM you are most likely just a blip on his timeline.
If you died tomorrow chances are the one who will miss you most, and who will grieve most, and hold you closest in his memory.... your H.
I'm not trying to convince you to leave or stay, or even appreciate the history, time and memories you have with your H. I'm just trying to state a likely fact.
Okay time to sleep! My H is deep sea fishing out in South America... so I'm kind of aimless this weekend.
There is no arriving, ever. It is all a continual becoming.
