I love this time of year. Everything is so "green" and the gardens look magnificent. I'll email you some photos of the gardens. Yes, the Red Maple is in the ground as of two weeks ago. MIL has been away for the last ten days so we've been watering.
Ellie is now on summer hours. That means she takes Mondays off and only works a 4 day week. Of course, 99% of that time is spent in the gardens and with the animals. The dogs are getting lots of exercise now that summer hrs have kicked in. Jayce, the hyperthroid cat is our only concern these days. His weight loss has turned around. He eats like a horse. Except he "woofs" as much as he eats. Had two cleanups this morning. He always manages to hit the carpets even though we replaced many of them with hardwood last year. The carpets are taking on a whole new look. :-(
You wrote about appearance. Ellie never leaves the house without looking smashing. I do appreciate it.
The fundraiser this Sunday is an all day thing that includes a tour of four houses that are showcasing their gardens during the day. I looking forward to going to those houses to get ideas for my own garden.
Sigh...green is beautiful - isn't it. Hard to believe that there is any such thing as winter during this time of the year. I can relate to spending 99% of the time in the garden with the animals. I find myself either looking longingly out at my garden or spending time outside every chance I get! LOL!
I hope Jayce is okay. Are you taking him to the vet for more tests? Keep me posted on how he is doing.
My first floor is partially hardwood. My big home improvement project for this year is replacing all of the carpet on the first floor with hardwood - primary b/c it is easier to clean up kittie messes. I know what you mean - how they always end up throwing up on the carpet in the hardwooded areas is beyond me!
The appearance thing needs to be a part of my "balanced" life. When I worked downtown - I dressed corporate casual, make up and the works. Since I've been working from home - I have gotten lazy. My goal is to get up every morning and dress classy casual.
Well - it turns out he was flirting. Couldn't really make out what he was saying what with all the noise from traffic. And then I hear clearly "Can I take you out to dinner tonight?"
Well that maybe not proper for a Toll attendent. Could the question be made in jest?
Do you feel you are transversing a minefield? What is safe bantering and what is a risk.
"All I want is a weeks pay for a day's work" Steve Martin
Don't know and don't care. He falls into the category of clueless about boundaries and appropriate behavior. He held me up for several minutes at the toll booth with his flirting/babbling nonsense.
Quote:
Do you feel you are transversing a minefield? What is safe bantering and what is a risk
There are all sorts of people out there.
The only litmus test is how do I feel about the conversation. If the conversation and the tone is something I find acceptable/comfortable/inviting - I will engage in the conversation.
If I don't like the conversation or tone - I will end the exchange. My boundaries are not subject to a democratic vote or an analysis of society's view of what is appropriate, fun or safe/unsfe banter.
My boundary - purely my call.
I owe no explanations or justifications for not wanting to be engaged in a conversation with someone.
I am feeling pretty good about my reaction to freaky toll booth man.
During the course of the past 5 years, I have posted about work sexual harassment issues, neighborhood H's, running away from GAL social activities where I was faced with behavior that made me feel uncomfortable.
And work was the toughest b/c the choice really is to suck it up and try to diplomatically dodge crap or change jobs. Filing a sexual harassment suit gets you blacklisted in my line of work.
And in the past, I circled and cirled. Was it me? What did I do to encourage this? What could I do differently? Maybe this is all in my head. Maybe I misinterpreted what I heard/saw, etc. I stopped wearing skirts at work. My hair went up and rarely wore it down. I created my own "burqua."
The only question today is "Does this behavior make me feel uncomfortable?"
And slowly I started to say NO. I said NO to weird male co-workers that hit on me in no uncertain terms - like the email I posted several months ago. I said NO to the H that "played with himself" on the day my friend was shot and I was so distraught I went to my GF's house to talk. She wasn't home and I was floored when I realized where his hands were and what he was doing. I bolted at that time - and the next time I say him - I set boundaries in a manner that left no doubt about what action I would take if I so much as caught him looking at me.
I set a boundary with the waiter at the Chinese restaurant. It has taken so much work to get to the point where I value my own boundaries and my right to not just hint but demand that they be respected.
FLTC's post about creepy lollipop man and how he took action in response to the way he treated women was also very validating.
What patent male girlfriend said several months ago was such an epiphany. "Normal" men look for feedback or reactions from the women the talk to. They respect boundaries. It is the clueless ones that do not care about feedback - they simply care about their own needs and are oblivious to any discomfort that their behavior causes on another person. The loser men have nothing to lose - they are use to being shot down and care even less about boundaries. He said - establish "normal" boundaries and say NO. That will be a filter that makes a woman approachable to "normal men" - but require exercising boundary setting.
My C had also said something several years ago. He said do not go after the walking wounded. As an example, he gave two male animals fighting over a female in the animal kingdom. How often does the female walk away with the losing male - saying oh poor thing, I will go with you b/c I feel sorry for you. He said go after the strong ones - the strong men being the centered and balanced men.
In any case, I am finally going to get an IPASS b/c well the freaky toll booth man did make me realize that had this happened late at night when the roads were not as busy - it would have been much more uncomfortable. Nowadays, your are directed off the main highway when you pay cash. I don't like that you sacrifice privacy with IPASS - but safety trumps big brother watching me issues.
After working and working on myself for years post D, I feel like I am starting to see the fruits of my labor. I don't have a list of what I am looking for - but my gut has a good handle on the type of person that will be right for me. And yes, I will learn more through trial and error. No way to learn those lessons w/o actually getting out into the real world and taking some risks.
It is yet another beauooooooootiful summer day. The first day of summer - sigh... I love life in the summer.
My brain is slowly incorporating home improvement thoughts... I want the whole first floor and master bedroom to have a "finished look." I need to start coordinating the contractors.
There is one thing that well is really almost irresponsibly expensive - but it is something I have wanted since I first saw his work - 10 years ago... I would like to have the foyer faux painted... We will see... It is vaulted - so no way can I even do the easy part myself. I don't like heights. Maybe with the economy - his prices have dropped...
I started to make my house look like a home and the D disrupted things and well, and then there were financially tough times - and then I started my own firm. I finally feel like relaxed enough and in the mood to start working on making my house a beauoooooootiful home.
I am ready to move with the flooring - but they (whoever they are) say you should start at the top and work your way down - which means I need to think about paint colors...
I want do some of the painting myself b/c it is something that I enjoy. We will see... I need to get estimates and create a budget.
Life is good. It is so nice to be worrying about such "ordinary and mundane" things. And I LOVE summer!
I am excited about my social outing b/c it is perfect for me. I am looking forward to touring the gardens and then there is wine and Spanish tapas - running food and drinks are my favorite. And there will be music - a band and it is outdoors. It is a custom ordered break for me.
I did have a bit of a downer this morning. I was driving back from my Sunday breakfast - saw a little dead kitty on the side of the road. I pulled over to see if it was alive. The poor thing was not breathing and there was no body or eye movement at all. I called animal control and told them that if by some miracle the poor little thing was alive to let me know - I would cover all vet bills. I actually usually stop and check all animals that are hit by cars. I cannot stand the thought of a poor animal lying there hurt and dying slowly.
When I was in law school, my friends and I were driving back late at night in Vermont and we hit a fox. I made these two poor men turn around. We had to either rescue the fox or needed to put it out of its misery. The men in my life do have a way of listening to me w/o any expectation of rationality when it comes to animsls.
Poor The X had to deal with that part of me and well so will the next poor guy that trips into my life! There was one time I saw a poor little birdy that looked like it couldn't fly - so I made The X pull over and we rescued him and took him to a wild animal shelter. Unfortunately the little guy had a broken back and was euthanized. Another time there was a huge lizard at Cozumel and some fool had lassoed him with a rope that was trailing behind him. I told The X to go save the lizzard. I of course ran to the hotel to ask for help. The X was good with animals - he did get the rope off. Yes, there were some good reasons why I M The X - reasons that still make me smile...
My neighbor GF is the same way. Her H literally panics when his W sees a stray or an new type of animal somewhere. And the twins are just like her so well - he has resigned himself to the fact that there is just no fighting it.
Aminals and children get pretty much a free pass with me and put and instant smile on my face. My kitties have me wrapped around their little paws and well my future kids - well that will be an adventure.
So there we have a requirement for an R with me. He has to really love animals and kids.
Poor little kitty. I hope she didn't suffer long. And I hope she doesn't have kittens waiting for her somewhere... I hope she had a good life.
I had a fabulous time at the fundraiser. There were four houses showcasing their gardens - and they were gorgeous. I have come to the conclusion that I have room for more trees in my backyard! I have seen at least two more trees I absolutely have to plant - and well the wine and running food reception was at the nursery - so well I know where to find the trees I want.
While GF and I and a group of people were eating and drinking at a table under a tree - it began to rain and then pour/. I looked at GF and said "today is my day off I don't feel like moving - do you?" She said nah - I don't melt. So it was so fun sitting in the warm summer rain eating and drinking! LOL! So much for looking casual chic!
I met a couple that has adopted from China and that had friends that adopted from India - so we will be getting in touch.
And well - I decided to do some W educating! The couple won a porche for the weekend. She complained about her H spending too much - what on earth she was going to do with a porche convertible. I told her - buy sexy lingerie - rent a room at a nice hotel and say THANK YOU H! She replied we have been M 23 years - there is nothing I have that he hasn't seen. I told her to dress her "stuff" up in a way that he has never seen!
GF's H bid on a gorgeous tablescape. Once again - she complained about the money - the budget. I told her to zip it and say THANK YOU! She loved the tablescape and we spent the past two hours unpacking it. That is a W fault - our inability to know when to shut up and just say THANK YOU.
I made that mistake in my M. I was so worried about the budget - sometimes The X did something nice - and I lacked the ability to zip it and just say THANK YOU. I was Ms. Budget and well looking back - it was easy for me to buy things for him - but really hard for me to accept nice things he did for me...
BTW: That will be changing in the next R! I am all about saying THANK YOU! I do LOVE presents!
In any case, the couple was really fun, The H was really politically correct sweet. He overheard me telling his W that I was coming out of my Hermit Closet (not to be confused with sexual orientation closet - not that there is anything wrong with that) and how at my age it is tough finding good men that are secure and happy with their lives - and not initimidated by my professional success. He very quietly came up to me and said - you know I attend a lot of fundraisers that are typically attended by alot of his clients that are comfortable with successful women! I asked him in what capacity - me as a patent attorney - or as a single women. He said - one or the other or both! I am good at networking - well perhaps it is time to network my way into meeting men!
I am liking this fundraising thing! I am going to have a pick a disease a month to support!
Kernel of wisdom for the day - if you are standing in the rain with a glass of red wine - the rain drops make the wine splatter against your very white linen blouse!
And I met a woman from NY that organized the fundraiser. We will be hanging out again. Either in AG suburb of NYC.
Life is fabulous! I love summer! And fundraisers are fabulous!
There was one time I saw a poor little birdy that looked like it couldn't fly - so I made The X pull over and we rescued him and took him to a wild animal shelter. Unfortunately the little guy had a broken back and was euthanized. Another time there was a huge lizard at Cozumel and some fool had lassoed him with a rope that was trailing behind him. I told The X to go save the lizzard. I of course ran to the hotel to ask for help. The X was good with animals - he did get the rope off. Yes, there were some good reasons why I M The X - reasons that still make me smile...