Real life is----part 5

[Starshyne]

I have had a rough day to say the least. First I had a doctor's appointment (yearly physical). I hate my doctor and I have for years. But there is a doctor shortage in my county and there really isn't anyone to switch to. I had to go into what is going on with my H. She kept pushing and I finally said that I didn't want to talk about it. She didn't want to give me sleeping pills at first. "hmmm...I think your sleeping problems might have to do with the things going on with your personal life?" DUH!!! She finally did (need to pick them up still). But not until she wanted to know what I could do to calm my nerves. Ummm...if I knew that, wouldn't I have been doing it? Geesh.

H has been hovering around the house all day. I can't take it. I cannot be in the same house as him at the same time. I was doing okay for awhile being in one room and he was in another. But then I totally lost it when he came in when I was eating diner and watching a program on tv. You know how they said that if you rant and rave and cry you push your spouse out of the door? Well...it worked! That is exactly what I wanted...him out. But I sure did rant and rave. Told him I am sick of him wearing my shirts because that is weird, that as far as I was concerned my husband was dead and all that is left is a smelly man with an ugly haircut. On and on I went until I just collapsed into a bawling, crying mess on the floor. Finally he was angry enough to say, alright...I'll go. And he stormed out of the house.

I am finally starting to calm down a little. But it has been so difficult on me.

Sara