How do I make him understand that I only want him to try because its really what he wants and not to fulfill some strange obligation?
(((((S&S)))))
I tried to get my H to understand the very same thing. I told him, flat out, that I didn't want him to come back to this M unless he was absolutely certain that's what HE wanted to do.
What I've learned is that there is nothing I can say or do to "make" my H understand something like that. This realization has to come from within himself. He has to be willing to change, to compromise, to communicate, to put his M first, AND he must be willing to do whatever it takes to make it all happen. He has to learn to let go of past mistakes (his and mine) before he and I can even begin to heal. Together.
If my H, and yours, cannot do any of that, then they will not understand, and we cannot make them because we cannot change them.
(((((S&S)))))
Getting over a painful experience is much like crossing monkey bars. You have to let go at some point in order to move forward. ~ Joseph Campbell
