Yes, what darboyd5 said. Also, you want to fight because you honor your commitments, you want to fight for your children so they have a complete family. There are lots of reasons to continue to fight. You have my respect for sure.
M: 37 H: 36 Married: Aug 13, 2004 Decision to Divorce: July 20, 2008 Reconciled: September 2008 Current: Ambivalence
Well more R talk with H today...none of it good. He is really liking his "freedom" and everytime we talk we seem to move one step closer to D.
Maybe it would just be better if we did just go ahead and file. We don't seem to be on the same page or wavelength. He said that he just grew indifferent to being at home. He said that maybe it was just time for a change, its so hard to hear, but somewhere deep inside I know he is right. I don't know if this is about OW or not.
The last thing he said was that he knew we needed to reach some resolution and I know what it will probably be...I'm just so sad about it. I just thought things might be different. He doesn't seem to understand that when we D, we will no longer be best friends.
M:39 H:39 K:S14;D8 T:22yr M:15yrs S:12/28/07 EA/PA 3/14/08 OW preg 11/17/08 born 12/12/08 his ~~~~~~~ Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option
How do I make him understand that I only want him to try because its really what he wants and not to fulfill some strange obligation?
(((((S&S)))))
I tried to get my H to understand the very same thing. I told him, flat out, that I didn't want him to come back to this M unless he was absolutely certain that's what HE wanted to do.
What I've learned is that there is nothing I can say or do to "make" my H understand something like that. This realization has to come from within himself. He has to be willing to change, to compromise, to communicate, to put his M first, AND he must be willing to do whatever it takes to make it all happen. He has to learn to let go of past mistakes (his and mine) before he and I can even begin to heal. Together.
If my H, and yours, cannot do any of that, then they will not understand, and we cannot make them because we cannot change them.
(((((S&S)))))
Getting over a painful experience is much like crossing monkey bars. You have to let go at some point in order to move forward. ~ Joseph Campbell
Corey did my husband send you a nasty email today?
Not that I know of, why? Are you ok?
M:39 H:39 K:S14;D8 T:22yr M:15yrs S:12/28/07 EA/PA 3/14/08 OW preg 11/17/08 born 12/12/08 his ~~~~~~~ Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option
