I am sorry for what you found out. I am not sure what to advise you though. He sounds... weak, scared, confused? Tell me something, did you trust him BEFORE you found out about H contacting her? Obviously NOt since you snooped (BTW, how do you do that, I want to, too). So, what changed? Knowledge is power. You know I am not an easy person to please and I am 1000% for honesty and RESPECT but listen, it's TOO early for you to expect a 100% honest R with him still. I would say confront him and before you leave just tell him you love him more than anyone ever will BUT you can't have that BS anymore. Tell him AGAIN she should be out of the picture and that that is a deal breaker for you (assuming it is). SHOW him which path to take.
I don't know if I am making sense but I feel you are so close it's a shame... K
