Wednesday night we actually had a good conversation. H started off by saying he was feeling unbelievably stressed and at breaking point. I think the thought of having to tell the children/parents is very overwhelming, whereas I'm still in shock, so it doesn't seem to bother me that much. Don't forget this is someone who has suffered abuse, and therefore the thought of telling people his secrets is very frightening for him. He says he is close to just disappearing.
I sympathised with him. I've basically said we would take our lead as to what to say to everyone from the counsellor. She can advise us on just how much of the story we need to tell people. I don't want to put him or our parents through unnecessary turmoil, it's not worth it. It is very clear though that I am not free to rant and rave at him about the As and the fact that he instigated this separation, he simply isn't able to take it. If I want us to have a good R for the sake of the children I am going to have to put my stuff on hold a little. Ha! And I thought DBing was over! Seems like I am going to have to continue to work at our R as hard as I was doing before.
Long posts can be difficult to read so I'll break this up a little.
Me:36 M:16 D final: 08/09 Ds:10&5 Ss:8&3 Bomb 3xPA 200 sexual encounters 15/06/08
