Okay, glad you let me know that you are sort of playful b/c that is what I really meant by teasing.....not the mean type of teasing, but more like playing or picking at somebody to get them in a good mood. I don't express myself very well at times. Which brings me to the next subject.....don't think two minutes about most things she says or does or you will go nuts. As I told you before, you can't believe anything she says and about half of what she does. You just must stop fretting about things that she says or does on a daily basis. Now, really important things.....that's different.
About her parents coming to get the truck and you hope she doesn't decide to start loading everything up.....my suggestion is that you make sure you are at your house at all times during the time the in-laws are there. You don't want to leave things unprotected just for her to walk off with, so stay there and don't allow her to take whatever she wants without it being discussed. Be firm, but try to stay calm and in control. It may tick her off if she was planning something like that, but if she was without telling you....it's good enough for her.....just let her get ticked. The trick is for you to stay calm. Remember that she cannot control your emotions unles you give her the power to do so. I would be as friendly as possible to her parents and try to act as if things are well as can be expected. If they know what is going on and try to get you alone to question or talk to you, I would just tell them that the S or D is not what you want but she is free to do what she feels that she must do. I would not offer much other information or get into a Q&A session with them. It doesn't pay for family and friends to get involved in these matters b/c they will feel that they have to take sides and then things usually get ugly. If they want to know anymore, they can either ask her or they may even talk in front of both of you. Don't know what her parents are like, so you just need to be prepared before they get there for any possible questions that may arise or actions that may come up that you have not expected. Don't be caught off guard.
Back to talking about her rollercoaster emotions and actions....she will do this as long as she is in the MLC state or until she at least starts pulling out of it. I know I would wake up in the mornings all resolved to stop contacting my OM and stay with my H and by the time I would get off work, my emotional state was so messed up that I didn't know what I wanted except to talk to the OM.
Michelle has a article here on the board about the WAW that you can read.
Have you tried to be sort of playful toward your wife (whenever the two of you were together) since the S? I know that sounds almost rediculas to ask such a question, but if you like to be fun and playful and joke with people, it helps to work that "ego food" into the conversation without sounding like you are getting way too serious with her. I think she could take it a lot better than for you to have puppy dog eyes looking at her and telling her how beautiful she is. Instead, you can use your own personality and charm and say something about how "hot" something looks on her that day, or whatever you can say and do that sounds "normal" for you. If you can't do it without sounding like you are trying to "butter her up" or trying to be somebody you aren't.....then maybe you should let it go and not say anything at all. It is so hard to know what to do when you never know what mood she will be in.....so you kind of have to follow her lead.
Some men are very successful being their W's best friend after they S or even D. Then eventually, they get back together again. However, some find themselves being walked all over and stepped on like a doormat when they try to be friendly toward their exwife and do good deeds for them. I started to say that only you really know your wife, but right now, she is even a stranger to you due to her MLC. After you read Michelle's article on the WAW, tell me if your W sounds like that and also, I think Michelle has the first chapter to the MLC or maybe an article here on the board. After you read that, let me know what you think. At first, I thought perhaps your wife wasn't in MLC, but the more you tell the more I'm thinking she is.
Good luck this weekend. Talk to you later.
Sandi
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
