I think detachment, with caring, it is possible, but it is very hard work and need some focus switching. Recently I think I have been able to detach enough to see things under a different light. Detachment, for me, means that I am not going to be totally influenced by the moods or indecision of my W. If she calls me crying I don't start thinking that maybe she wants back, and if she asks me to keep the kids for the night I don't think she is gone forever. There are few facts to consider, and the main one is that I don't know what is going on with W and OM, they could be happy or they could be fighting everyday. I don't know what are the internal mental processes she has about our R and D, she maybe done, like she is saying, or in doubt.... We really don't know what is in our W mind. So.... for now what she says or does, doesn't matter at all, I am not going to be sucked in her dramas. The only goal I have is to be happy, look good, and mess up with her mind, meaning, give mixed messages, don't let her figure out what I am thinking, put her down when she is confident and rescue her when she is not. Be funny and cocky when I see her. But everything needs to be done like in a game, where if I win, good, and if I loose, good anyway.... it was fun.
gForce you accepted a job in a different State, that is a big statement. If she wants, would she be able to follow you?... I mean no family constrictions, or a job too good to leave?
