Thank you. I know. I just feel discouraged and confused today. A little disoriented. I think it's because I was feeling on top of things and then he came up this past weekend. I saw how well we got along and felt how nice it was to have him around us and things felt complete. But I know that they are not. Seriously, to avoid the pain and confusion anymore, I really just want to erase him out of my life like he doesn't exist. I hate this back and forth feeling. He doesn't want me. I have to accept that no matter what it "feels" like when he's around me. I can't let myself misunderstand niceness (is that a word? lol).
I think I'm feeling out of sorts because he called last night to get the numbers for housing and transportation so he can get things started and the reality of not having a job or anywhere to live yet have hit me. I'm not going to Georgia with him. I have not money and no housing. Should be interesting. Don't mind me right now. I'm feeling cynical and need to go redirect this negative energy into something positive and productive.
I'm very frustrated today and keep snapping at my kids so I think I need to go for a run or something.
