N_A, Thank you so much for popping in here. I also have a more used thread over in the MLC forum since I dont get a lot of responses from this one.
I agree that PATIENCE IS THE KEY for me and my situation. I do have the gut feeling that this time is real and different and going to last some how - no matter how long it takes us to become stable again.
I can deal with just about anything, and thank goodness I have created my own life that doesnt involve my H anymore because I still need to rely on those GAL things i picked up due to him being gone. So I stay busy even when H chooses to go out with his friends.
I guess that no one can understand why I am trying to reconnect with him when he is ALWAYS at the bars, rarely comes around our old group of friends, rejects me and stands me up, has become very flirty, and has told me that he doesnt want to do holidays with my side of the family anymore since he hates my older brother.
Sometimes I question myself why I am still trying to make this M work. I guess I still need to find those answers with in me. I know I love him, was devastated without him, and would do just about anything for him, but right now he is not very deserving of all of that> but he used to be. I cant believe how much my H has changed over the past 1-2 yrs. For the first time ever he is being really selfish, it is uncharacteristic.
I will consider looking into alanon over my summer break, but I am afraid that it would piss him off if I were to let him know I want to go to get help.
He hates the idea of getting help of any kind. He has always acted like one is weak if they cant get through things on their own.
